Back on the HORSE...

...may as well post about it.

I'm playing better, like night-and-day better. Instead of that floundering, lost feeling, I have that in-charge, weather-the-storms feeling. And while I haven't managed to quite wade through the final table just yet, I've made 3 final tables out of the last 6 tourneys, and cashed 4 times. One of the 2 misses, I went out in Holdem at the break, raising QJs, getting 3-bet, and while the board came J567Q, the pot went to the 3-bet OVERCALL by, you guessed it, 34 offsuit. Is it a mystery how I'm doing so well in these?

I love when a good player plays one of these for the first time. Why? Well, let's play the Feud.

"Name the top reaction good players have when playing a $20-26 HORSE tourney for the first time."

#1 Answer: "Stunned disbelief". Often uttering some priceless comments. Most recently, the quote was, "I'm never missing a HORSE tournament again."

So, enough bragging about my $60 and $90 cashes. Let's go back to a few days ago, when the world of poker was a scary and confusing place. What happened? I can sum it up in 1-3 words.

Personal Responsibility.

I was playing badly, and not admitting it to myself.
I was playing well, and not paying attention to that either.
I was playing "win now", "win every pot", "win with bad cards" poker. That works, occasionally.
I was raising behind, telling myself I'm ahead, and getting mad when they "sucked out". Pure delusion.
I was ignoring the larger picture, to cherry-pick the results that I was in the mood to hear. Interestingly, sometimes, I wanted to feel like I was winning when I wasn't, but sometimes the converse was also true. Why would I want to feel like I was getting bad beats, even when I'm ahead (and lucky) for the evening?

So, I quit whining and started playing for reals. I had to sneak in under the gun for Iron Man, getting my 100 points on Dec 30 with 7 minutes to spare. (I stayed on and got my Dec 31 100 points immediately by 12:51 am.) So, now I have 6500 points to earn to get my $325 bonus, a small bankroll to work with, and now I'm 1/8th done and behind the pace, since I'm playing so well in tourneys and playing less cash.

Jumping directly to the point, starting December 30 I was quickly in the frame of mind that, "Hey, you kids quit screwing around in there!" No more time to make fancy (translation: spewage) raises and speculative (translation: spewage) calls. And Stud 8 is such a good game to make such a turnaround.

Attention, emptyman:

If you're losing at Stud 8 cash consistently, you're doing something seriously wrong. Even at $2/4 or $3/6, if you just wait for good cards, you can play most hands as a freeroll. You always say, when you're playing well, Stud 8 is break-even on a BAD night. On a good night it's many 20BB buyins.

So, if you ARE losing consistently, you can know it's you, and then it's up to you to see why. It will require some increase in awareness on your part, and I invite you to use this opportunity to practice that skill. Because that's one obscure and AWESOME muscle, the ability to step back and get a new perspective.

All that being said, we can start here. You are putting extra money in the pot, when you shouldn't be. Calling with crap, peeling bricks, or betting/raising with marginal favorites/underdogs. There is simply no way to lose long-term otherwise, not when there are so many calling stations playing so many random hands.

So take responsibility. You are losing, why? Do your best to watch your play as others would. Use odds calculators if necessary. You may find yourself preparing a case, like a lawyer, to defend your awesomely perfect, yet stunningly "losing" play. Go ahead, that's fine. This is a great way to help put some things down on paper, and maybe help you get the objective perspective you require right now.

You may end up with an airtight case. Maybe you do run like trash. But, how many times will you go to the well for that one before you look in the mirror instead?

*********

So, that was the short/long journey I took recently. Didn't "go" anywhere, but it definitely took me a while to get there anyways. Sometimes, I wonder why I make it so hard for myself...but that's another journey, another day.

As for how this one ended? Well, that part is specific to me, and I think you probably could see how. Needless to say (just went 2/2 in Token Frenzys for tonight's 4K, woot), I'm playing better, and in a better mood about everything. So, let's put something down to help short-circuit this process next time.

Let's present it as 2 options. Future Emptyman, here are your meal choices for today's flight.

When you're feeling angry:

A. It means you are also not playing your A-game of poker. And that's unacceptable, quit ASAP. Period. Figure out the source of the anger, transform it into forgiveness and authority. Resume playing only when it feels fun, light, and easy again.

B. It means I am getting SCREWED like a prison inmate's bunk-bed frame getting repaired. I am a freak of nature, somehow getting hit by miracle s**tstorms left and right. And sometimes, it literally is comical, the hands that happen. So, let's focus on each individual result (some of them, not others) as proof of long-term ability. Then, let's blame a cold deck as long as possible. When completely unavoidable, look at me and my play. Start putting down hand histories, replaying them, and pretending you are the opponent. Does it still look the same? No? Now that it's been days/weeks/months of suffering and sucking, are you finally ready to hear me?

Sorry about that last part, but sometimes I don't listen to myself, and when I'm typing it manages to come out. I really have been in a long term slump. I'm actually quite tickled to have the fresh start of 2009, because 4/6 cashes makes my monthly stats appear green for a change. Why the slump? Well, I've been lazy. Playing bad poker, not paying attention, not committing to tourneys or cash sessions. Getting mad and allowing tilt to risk my BR for 1 hand or more. Bubbling because I thought I was taking my best shot to win the tourney. (Was I?)

I will be playing the 4K tonight and tomorrow, since I got my tokens. Another last thought, when slumping I couldn't even win the Token Frenzies, SNG or MTT. That's another rock-solid indicator of BAD PLAY. You are PLAYING BADLY if you can't beat the curve in those. A good player, playing well, wins tokens at twice the average rate. And you're a good player...which leaves...

I can be so stubborn sometimes. Being smart can easily be paired with "assuming I'm right all the time". And those are completely different beasts, the former being true and the latter being a phantom, impossible to acheive. So, I'm dropping the second one.

It's all a journey. Remember that first, and the rest follows so easily from there.