Boredom: My Biggest Poker Leak?

Believe me, that thought didn't come easily or delicately. As always, let's go to the facts, or "reality" of the situation first. Like the opposite of how W tackles problems.




3rd place, 2 FT back-to-back, yada yada yada. I played very well, and for the most part, my hands held up. For the second consecutive night, I was finding myself ALL-IN 2-off-the-money, and this time I had to call down a pretend 8 with 2359x4x when he showed me xxA78 to start. He made 3 pair, never was ahead, and I cruised from there. I've been trusting my reads much more lately (raising, calling AND folding), more on that later. This read was obviously right on.

Tournament winners don't fold winning hands 2-off-the-money. 17th place finishers do.

Let's get back to the initial point, and my history in the 4K.

This back-to-back run is not unique, as regular readers know. I have been on some made streaks in the past, and am obviously in the middle/beginning of one now. But, it just occurs to me (DUH) that I stop winning after that. Why?

1. I stop committing to play as intensely. I become okay with donking out on a flier.
2. I stop playing it entirely. It's not a conscious thing, but I'm realizing that I've BEAT this thing. And with life, that's often a point when people can lose interest in something. Such as me with the 4K.
3. I stop caring about winning so much. Online poker is so short in feedback, and I'm a man of INSTANT GRATIFICATION. The fact that I can't even see a cent for WEEKS after a cashout had severely diminshed my excitement about playing a tournament on a given night. I mean, I almost had to psyche myself up to realize that the "score" of poker is money, and that when I get my huge high score, it comes with a cash prize.

** Possible remedy for #3:

Title Defense! It appears I finished first in my money class for the year! (HORSE/SHOE, middle buyins, middle of the page)
If I make a point of watching, and bragging about how awesome I am, it should help motivate me.

4. I was HORRIBLY freakishly maniacally irresponsible with my bankroll. (Using the past-tense on purpose here) I shipped money to friends. I sold it to buy stuff. I played tourneys/limits that were too expensive for my bankroll.

I hope to contend for the high-buyin class of HORSE tourneys, and maybe some others this year. But I'm not going to push until I have the BR.

Boredom is the enemy of bankroll discipline. This I know for sure.

***
LATE EDIT

Just reading an interview on Bluff:

"7. Manage your bankroll

If you’re going to play high stakes poker with flair and bravado (and we really think you should), bankroll management skills are key. Here’s how Sammy does it.

“With the style I play, I experience big swings. I had a bad run in December and you just have to slow down. I play a little bit smaller, get the confidence back, and build the bankroll a little bit. If I lose a big figure, I have to manage myself; change my strategy. I can’t gamble too much anymore. When they bet me a lot, I just stay a little bit more conservative. But that’s what’s good about my image. No one will notice I’m playing conservative. This goes for any stakes you’re playing at. If you want to do this for a living, bankroll management is everything. There’s a lot of emotion in poker, and you can’t go with your emotions. If you feel sad that you lost, you have to forget it. And fight back.” -- Sammy Farha

Ok, so it's not poetry. But even Random Sammy feels these things. Makes adjustments to his game based on his own mental state. Sometimes the mind and the body just won't be ignored. For the not-yet-enlightened, anyways.

It occurs to me that there are two options to handle this: fight it or flow with it. I bet you know which one I choose.

***

I am not bored tonight, I am motivated, focused, ready to pound this tourney again and again. This is the big aha for today. If I like money (I do), and if I am hugely favored to win this tourney every time I sit down to play it (I am, in this state of mind), why have I stopped playing in the past?

Boredom. Feeling done. Etcetera. Dumb, eh? I've been playing games my whole life, and I think I traditionally, and subconsciously revert to "fairness/handicap" mode. Whenever I play games for fun, I usually have 2 choices.

1. Probably win.
2. Fix the game/mechanics/my effort to make it fair for all participants.

I know this sounds like bragging, but it's just my objective observation. Humility aside, honesty is just as important (or moreso) for recognizing ability and greatness. I also know this will be useful for playing with my kids -- it was essential for me growing up. I just need to make an exception for poker.

Winner-take-all. No-holds-barred. Milk every cent, shoot every angle, cherish every last tournament chip (and entry). If there's dead money out there, it's my right, nay my RESPONSIBILITY to collect it. I owe it to Emptyman to build a bankroll and let him see how good he is. I owe my wife a trip, Hawaii or further. And it's all being presented to me on a silver platter. All I have to do is do it. Wow, that sounds EASY.

I commit to playing my best poker. All the time. Score = money. Jack Black is a genius. ("It was a big day, on JESUS RANCH!") I digress.

I commit to playing my best poker, now and continuously. Period.

*****

I am really excited about this topic, it's been a nagging Zen question for years, the nature of boredom/laziness, and I'm starting to see new light poking through here. Next Zen post, Empty.