Blogger's Block (or 'Blok' for short)

I'm sitting down to write this in an interesting space. For weeks, I've had a gazillion things to say about anything and everything. Yet, when I sit down to write them, I hate every single sentence that I type. Individually. So here I am today, posting for the sake of posting, posting with editing, but posting guaranteed. So, I may as well start by talking about why I am struggling to post anything.

Paralyzed Will
I have so much to say, but speaking into the vacuum creates an interesting dilemma. Who else is reading (if anyone), and does that matter? I guess I always end up realizing at this point, if anyone truly wishes assistance in walking the path, they would speak up. Until someone is willing to stick their neck out and actually do something, ignore them as participants. So, I am still really writing this blog for me. Same as from day 1.

So, while I would enjoy this to be a discussion, I accept the fact that it's one-sided.

Many times I would like to post about something Zen, something I've newly discovered. For instance, today I've been contemplating about Mind, and whether it creates time, and solidity. From my singular perspective, this is pretty deep stuff, and I have no read on whether I'm leaving people behind or boring them to death. Alternatively, I've had some great thoughts about “Zen for Beginners” posts, but wonder if I would be teaching 5th grade math to college students. So again, I see that it's my own fear, fear of being judged.

I'll add one more, then I'll explain the term 'paralyzed will'. I sometimes start a post, and (although not recently) actually like the content. But, as I continue writing, I'm aware that I am not willing to put in the effort to put the usual polish on the writing before posting. And I let that prevent me from posting. Well, to be honest, I chose this conflict for myself, and now that I'm aware of it, I have dropped it. So be it, if a post is unpolished. See first paragraph above.

Paralyzed will is doing nothing in the face of everything. Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning, and your entire to-do list has 50 things on it. You accept the fact that you can only get 20 done this weekend, although really you can only get 10 done. And you would love to get 2 done by noon, but in the face of all of this you just cannot get started. You're not lazy, you're, well, afraid. That's why I couldn't post, I was afraid of a bunch of imaginary consequences.

As I've come to this conclusion, I really am done writing about it already. So can we move on?

Meditation for Beginners
To some this may seem like blasphemy. I have only recently truly started to meditate. But, I bet some of you know exactly why it took me this long to get to this place.

True meditation never seemed necessary to me. I figured anything I can do while meditating, I could learn to do while I'm still doing other stuff. I am an excellent multi-tasker, have a very quick mind. But I was missing the entire point. It is clear, clear, obvious, and cosmically quite funny how far off I was.

I am still fighting to get to the pillow. And I commit to asking why, so that I can drop it and continue meditating. It's easily the most magical thing I've discovered and I choose to explore further.

Full disclosure: it's scary. You are going to encounter things you may not like, and you can either quit, run away, or forge ahead. Trust me, this is something much easier handled when you commit going in. Expect to be frightened, because Mind is the one in charge of pushing your fear button. And it's not afraid to use it.

I commit to being courageous in the face of whatever I might encounter. I go to the pillow, knowing fully many things will impel me to leave the pillow. I used to have animosity for Mind, but now I realize there is no malice. Mind is Mind, just like society is society. Accept it, and immediately it is clear what a gift it is when allied with it.

It's sort of like the saying, “you always find things in the last place you look”. It may seem like there is some reason you need to leave the pillow, such as a scary image, a sudden fear, a sudden hunger, whatever it is. I invite you to see this for the “Mind” that it is. More than that, see it not as a ploy by your Mind to get you off of the pillow, see it as just “the last thing you happened to think about.” It's the one thing that worked this time, but it needn't get you off the pillow ever again. Don't make it into something it's not, just accept the progress you made, and sit back down. Today, tomorrow, whenever, just do it.

There are zillions of reasons not to meditate. I don't personally have any valid ones, maybe you can think of one that holds. But short of literal serfdom, I think I could afford to watch a little less Netflix and play a little less online poker to create the time.

Language, The Printing Press, The World Wide Web
Incrementally, the evolution of communication in our history. Invention, then the ability to communicate on a global scale, then the ability to do it for free. You know how the scariest villains in the sci-fi movies are often “hive-minds”. Well the Web is more appropriately named than you might have imagined. We now have the ability to act as a whole, and despite trivial bickering, global action is inevitable. The human race is now a hive mind.
I bring this up because I didn't go looking for Zen, I promise you that. Some author hid it in a quantum physics book, chapter 8 I think. But it was like being shown a burst of light, no matter how tiny, I couldn't ignore it. But take away the WWW, pretend I'm 15 again, and how would I possibly pursue this spark?

A. Dedicate my life to getting to Tibet, spend years there, and hope they have the answer. (?)
B. Forget about it and go back to trying to procure a fake.

We have more and more freely available every day. Google is doing everything they can to get books and other human history online, to be available to everyone for free. (Yes, there is a non-zero cost to getting online, let's call it negligible for this discussion.) I have the resources to talk to family, read book after book, and now search and discuss immediately with the entire human race. So, inevitably, we will talk about things that are true.

My intuition tells me that Zen Buddhism doesn't have it all right. But it's really close, closer than other organized religions. Ironically, I feel that the very places they miss are so transparent. To see so much of the truth, but then cling to tradition, human legacy in some fundamental ways. (For more examples of this clinging to tradition, see “The Bible”, pages 1-end.)

I will admit that I know so little, that maybe Zen Masters have found the truth in these things and I am as yet unable to see it. But I will find that out myself.

I am personally stunned that the elections in Iran ended the way that they did. Sure it's not denying the Holocaust happened, but it's still a draconian denial of truth. And our new transparency should guarantee that doesn't happen anymore. I mean, they truly thought they could pretend that the opposition leader lost HIS HOMETOWN, and no one would take notice? Now, the government went strong-armed, and the people had a choice to escalate or back off, and they made their choice. I actually find it quite wise. There is no need to stand in front of a tank these days, just chill out, be patient. How do you think the next election will go down in Iran?

Judgement
One more topic today. Wow, I really understand why some Zen authors just go all over the place. When I write about Zen, there is no “crafting” involved, which is what is usually involved in writing. If I were to put out a book, I know I would simply have to start writing, and go back later and arrange it according to some thread or scheme. To think of writing a Zen book based on a preexisting outline makes me laugh.

It occurred to me lately on a whole new level, how much the entire human race is blameless for their actions. It would be like punishing a 5-year-old for bad manners. We can talk about why this is, but for now let's just start as if this is true.

If humanity really is clueless, then what good is judgment? Let me give you some examples:
A church I drive by on my way to work has a sign with removable letters, and posts these ridiculous sayings like, “Jesus will board your sinking ship” and “Pray and let God do the worrying” and “Many books inform but only The Bible transforms”. Someone picks these out, and he or she is obviously an idiot. But then thinking about their path, what life they have lived up until now, I realize that they just have had no chance to escape this particular set of delusions. Society, Christianity programmed this man/woman to the core.

A recent poll highlights the continuum of ignorance in the US. Only 62% of people think Obama was born in the US for sure. The next layers illustrate further levels, as more think he was Indonesian than Kenyan, and 6% even think he's Hawaiian and that HAWAII IS NOT A U.S. STATE. 38% of people think the current US president is not an American-born citizen?

What, they didn't check? Hoped no one would notice? Giant conspiracy (involving robots)?

Stepping back for a minute, I can just see them, as if they're on the local news. Telling the camera “what they think is true”. 10% think Obama is Indonesian, that's hilarious. They took the rumor of the “birth-certificate thing”, then made up their own guess about where he came from.

So, I accept the fact that the masses are just that, the masses. Programmable, programmed. To judge them is to judge a dog for not knowing Keats.

Zen is denying this programming and denying your history and your legacy and your accomplishment and your morality. It is dropping the need to take credit for anything, and your belief that things from the past are somehow relevant and important.

It's committing to living your own life.

Imagine you are floating down a stream. You know you can get to the river's end by floating for the rest of your life. And you are welcome to do just that, society will encourage it in more ways than you may first suspect. Finding Zen is like making that first stroke, starting to swim. Anywhere. I've been given this life, in whatever form it exists, and I choose to explore everything I can while I'm here.

Commit to finding the truth, living the truth, and the rest comes of its own. Drop everything you have been given, stop living other people's lives. Truth is readily and freely available, as much as you can handle, open the faucet as narrow or as wide as you choose. If you meditate, you will unleash a torrent. I've only recently discovered the joy of letting it flow over me. Whatever you do, I invite you to find these things for yourself.

I've discovered so many fascinating things in just a few minutes of meditation. How the act of thinking a thought can validate it, how emotions flow through my body and influence my choices, how many times I can count to one and forget to count to two. I choose to be writing about them soon.