Poker, Zen, and Dirty Martinis

An Inversion

2009-10-12T22:27:00.002-05:00

When I play poker to win, I lose.

When I play poker not to lose, I win.

What does this say about my "default" strategies?

(Rhetorical question, answer is "Besides that I am about 900% too aggressive?")

Teh Vanishing

2009-10-05T21:04:00.001-05:00

Sorry! I'm here, I'll be back soon!

Zen: A Story

2009-09-14T21:02:00.004-05:00

I recently mentioned that for me to show myself and others that I'm playing poker in a truly new way, I can show this by accomplishing something I haven't done previously. Specifically, I mentioned turning $250 into not $1250, but $3000 or $10,000.

So, I burned my $18 bankroll (after withdrawing most) and deposited $250. It just eclipsed $1,250, at the beginning of the weekend, after a dozen consecutive winning sessions. I closed the last table Thursday with $1,253.

Then, (as if) on cue, I started giving it back. I felt like I was playing the same, I felt like I was making good or decent table selection, and doing all the right things. But it was lose or break-even, and it wasn't like I was getting the short end of the stick all the time. Yet obviously, something was different. I knew better than to blame it all on "bad luck" vs. "good luck".

This is what a story will look like when you first see it. Vague, indefinable around the edges. Hard to wrap your brain around or even your arms around. This is the moment of truth. Real-live red pill/blue pill stuff. You have 2 choices:

1. Explain the story. Justify the story, come up with reasons why it's not you, not your story. Make sure the case for acting out this story is airtight, in case this comes up again next time.

2. Go into the story. Identify it, become aware of it, drop it. Never think about it ever again.

They will be anything but obvious, especially as you are first learning to spot them. Let me finish the example of mine, so that you can see the resolution, the transformation.

As I see myself "giving it back", hovering between $1,250 and $1,000, I do start to see some patterns emerging.

Bigger cash tables:

Dismissed because the players aren't any better. Often, more ATM-ey.

More aggressive play:

An expectation to win all the time. "Why haven't I already won all the money?"

Related, I think back, and I can even remember times when I was trying to quit for the night, and I was, for instance, up $399. I set a goal of $400 and I'm out. And yet, almost invariably, I lost. Often, a lot. So, what is the story of me continuing to win?

I know it now. Do you? If not, it's not surprising. Often it will only be apparent to the owner of the story. Only they have the context to jump to the end. (Ironically, if you learn to do this in a group, you find often everyone in the room knows the story EXCEPT the owner.) This story, for me, it can be summed up in two words:

Game Over.

I am a pure gamer, I've been playing games my entire life. I found a Commodore Pet at age 4 and never looked back. And when I win a game, specifically winning over and over, it means no more getting to play.

Game night: I win, time for bed.

I win the same game 5 consecutive: Nobody wants to play with me.

I beat my younger brother all the time. He never wants to play with me.

This formed the pattern of me learning to play games. Play them well, but play them so well I can control the outcome. So I CAN LOSE ON PURPOSE ENOUGH FOR PEOPLE TO KEEP PLAYING WITH ME. So I CAN KEEP PLAYING FUN GAMES.

It fits across the board. When I got my first $10 ever online (free), I turned it into $1,000. In a week. Then, I lost it all, until I had but $44 left. I then won 2 $44 SNG's and back to $350.

If I lose at low bankroll, it means I don't get to play anymore. So that's why I always have managed to rescue fallen bankrolls. But, look at the larger, more sinister, less obvious half of this story:

I lost on purpose when I won a lot, in the past. I was following a pattern, set for maximum enjoyment, as measured by approval of other players and more importantly, ability to play more. And more and more and more. Anything to play more.

This is why stories, once identified, require no effort at all to transform into awareness. Once I see the silliness that was my old pattern, I stop acting it out. Applying effort is universally a mistake. If you are making an effort to drop a story, you're masking it, hiding it, justifying it. Own it and it's gone forever.

I see that whatever the reason, however subtly I do it, I sabotage winning too much. This time when I defined a level of "too much", I even hit it on the nose. So, I've ignored whatever compulsions I feel or don't feel, to lose at poker because my bankroll is so large. I commit to its health, I will not sabotage it for a stupid story that is already dropped.

This time it is different.

So, what was the specific story? Well, the specifics aren't important, they're simply the ways in which I was acting it out. They will all show up in time, as old habits that I now ignore (i.e. raising more vs aggressive players). Sometimes the story has a simple answer, sometimes you never identify it directly. There is no need, you know this once it's gone.

Context, with No Judgement

2009-09-09T20:22:00.004-05:00

When I'm winning at poker:

I expect to win every pot.

If I'm playing H/L, I win half or all of almost every pot I play.

I smirk when I massively brick and have to fold.

I remember that I don't HAVE to play every "playable on 3rd" scenario.

I remember that folding for no reason is one of the best ways to honor my intuition.

I trust my intuition.

I don't second guess my choices, whether they were right or wrong.

Stud H/L is one big, happy, freeroll.

I can fold 2 aces.

I can fold KKK on the river when they obviously hit their flush they were chasing.

I get paid for my winning hands.

I REFUSE to pay people off.

When I'm losing at poker:

I expect to win every pot.

If I'm playing H/L, I win half or all of 20%-40% of pots I play.

I feel mad, angry, when I get screwed on the river.

I struggle to break even.

I instacall when the odds are close enough.

Poker Zen: Investigating a Story

2009-09-07T19:05:00.004-05:00

In the past, I would be starting a strategy post today. Why?

I have been having success on the tables. More specifically and importantly, I can see the roots of my understandings, growing, evolving into cash profits. And I see with a high degree of clarity. I can now share my visions of the truth about "winning at poker" with confidence that I know of what I speak.

But I'm not going to launch into that post, not today. Why not? That's the post I AM going to put up today.

I have noticed a pattern in my life. When I have a lot of success at the tables, whether cash or in tournaments, either I know I'm playing well, or I know I'm running hot. I think I have a solid ability to assess my results on this level. But yet, both come and go. And there is simply NO logical reason why I should start playing worse, instead of continually, continuously, better.

So, let's go into this. Instead of repeating the old pattern, telling the old story, I choose to continually play better, now and continously. Let's identify the cause(s) of playing worse, and in awareness, drop them.

Possibility #1: Secrets in the Open

Hypothesis: The revealing of strategies helps my opponents. Not only am I teaching them correct, fundamentally sound poker, but I am also showing them how I interpret my own strategies, and any secret tricks. Is this a plausible cause for my inevitable decline?

Answer: TBD. (Hint: "No.")

Well, I wish I had time to finish now, but no such luck. So, I will sit with this and see what answer comes back as "Yes."

One obvious part of the answer: make this streak unique. Like, for instance, 3 times as long as any before. Or, turn $250 into $3000, or $10,000, not just $1,250. Then, write about what I obviously DO know.

The Cross

2009-09-02T22:03:00.002-05:00

If you are waiting until you can leave your job, so that you can go home and start having fun, you are moving horizontally.

If you are thinking about what you will say at the party, on the way to the party, you are moving horizontally.

If you base your self-worth on your personal appearance, or your monthly paycheck, you are living horizontally.

If you justify your mistakes, you are living horizontally. If you defend your mistakes, you are living horizontally. If you brag about your successes, you are living horizontally.

If you aspire to something you are not, you live horizontally. If you regret the worst choice you ever made, you live horizontally.

Think of everything you do from birth until death. Think about how much of this journey you are in charge of, and how much time controls. 0% vs 100%.

Moving horizontally is agreeing with the passage of time. Imagine if you could resist the flow of time, or stop it all together. Stop for a breath, and truly imagine that you have this ability.

Moving horizontally is "helping" time. Helping it move you from birth through life to death like patrons at Disneyland. It will move you from the entrance of the park to the exit and it's dark and you will wonder where it all went.

Now it's important to remember in this story, time has no motive. It has no power you don't give it. So if anything happens with you through time, remember it is all you.

Now, it's not only because you think about tomorrow, that tomorrow comes. We are flowing in a river, a river that flows horizontally. But while you are here, why spend the time marching?Looking downstream, looking back upstream, looking horizontally?

There is another fundamental direction. If it helps, think about drawing a stick-figure on a piece of paper. Now place that paper on a flat table, and explain to him what direction "up" is. He can only see, only think in 4 directions. But this is where the analogy ends.

Moving vertically is not transversing a new spatial dimension. It's encompassing space and time itself. If I had to give it a direction, I would say, "inwards".

You can't move vertically by doing more, by walking around and seeing more. Not by giving more money, getting more money, or getting promoted.

To move vertically, you simply must be more. You already know how, you know you do. I am not going to tell you how, or where, or why. You already know these things.

You move vertically by being THAT person. More and more each day.

Drop It All

2009-08-29T20:05:00.002-05:00

Everything that has been given to you.

Increasing awareness has many "side effects". To me, they are fascinating signposts, showing me that I'm on the right path.

For example, the more awareness I gain, the more I realize I DON'T know. As Denis Leary's father put it, "most of the people older than you are smarter than you." And yes, more years on Earth playing the game of life generally leads to more mastery.

Meanwhile, I have continually encountered more patterns and habits internally, things I did but I didn't really know why. With awareness, often I drop the pattern or habit entirely. In that moment, I gain a new space in my life. The enormous size of that space both awes and inspires me. The things I'm capable of, given such a fresh new freedom.

What do I do with this? I really think I have the ability to teach poker. That I can write a column about poker that is both informative and reasonably correct. Yet, I struggle to put this knowledge into play. I know it's somewhat unrelated, but I refuse to wave my hands at it and say, "those who can't do, teach." That's teaching for the flocks, not teaching by revealing mastery. Or, maybe it's just that I refuse to teach something I am unable to implement. The real answer, I suspect, is that I know the really important game isn't poker, it's the one that contains poker. The games I play with my Mind will always be there, no matter how proficient I get at poker. So my scholarly poker studies are waiting for now. What good is having a treasure map if you can't sail?

For me, to teach what I know, is not yet about "how to play poker". There is plenty available out there for that. I wouldn't flinch if someone said 90% is better than the stuff I write. I don't claim to be able to judge the quality of my own poker writings.

What I know, is about getting from playing "bad poker" to "good poker". I think the threshold that remains for most poker players is this awareness. We can all spot amateurs by their basic lack of probabilities and game mechanics. But after this first initial learning curve, the river straightens out and dumps players in the ocean. And from there, they get to choose how, and where, to sink or swim.

10,000 hours is the magic number for mastery, according to Malcom Gladwell, and I think he has found some fascinating, and accurate results. Bill Gates, The Beatles, Bill Joy. Even the "geniuses." But this is training, programming. Doing something so many times that it becomes second-nature. Surely even some people will take more than 10,000 hours, for given skill sets.

But 10,000 hours is not necessary. I submit that awareness alone short-circuits this. Learning becomes active, enjoyment and passion become universal. This is where there is a massive shortage of existing written material. How to take the lessons of Zen and apply them to our actual worlds. How to take the short-cut to the "10,000 hours" mastery level, in poker, or in anything.

I'll do what I can to record my journey here, and I think that best sums up the first two years I've written here. But how do I teach, the more I realize I really know nothing?

Traditionally in the West, teaching requires:

a) learning, acquiring knowledge, and

b) imparting that knowledge onto others

This is not going to happen for me, at least anytime soon, and likely never. I have dropped the burden of "the past", and I don't plan on making an exception for this. Think about your favorite movie, how many times you've seen it and how well you know the story. Now imagine a genie visits you and offers you this gift: the ability to experience everything as new, watch this movie and every movie for the first time, over and over. Do you accept? I did, this is what life is like when you stop building your personality, basing your current life on your previous life up until now.

Everything in this reality is flowing, nothing is static. Any illusion of stasis exists only because you choose to see something as so. So, I will teach, but about how to swim. The things I as masterful about are:

learning

learning curves

evolution of process

evolution of societies

problem solving

chaos vs. order

turning inwards

silence

It occurs to me, as a random place to end this post, that I am playing Zen like I'm playing poker. I know all of the "right actions", but I find myself doing alternative ones anyways. Then getting mad about it. Creating conflict, quite literally out of nothing.

I recommit I play Zen.

Blogger's Block (or 'Blok' for short)

2009-08-19T23:11:00.003-05:00

I'm sitting down to write this in an interesting space. For weeks, I've had a gazillion things to say about anything and everything. Yet, when I sit down to write them, I hate every single sentence that I type. Individually. So here I am today, posting for the sake of posting, posting with editing, but posting guaranteed. So, I may as well start by talking about why I am struggling to post anything.

Paralyzed Will
I have so much to say, but speaking into the vacuum creates an interesting dilemma. Who else is reading (if anyone), and does that matter? I guess I always end up realizing at this point, if anyone truly wishes assistance in walking the path, they would speak up. Until someone is willing to stick their neck out and actually do something, ignore them as participants. So, I am still really writing this blog for me. Same as from day 1.

So, while I would enjoy this to be a discussion, I accept the fact that it's one-sided.

Many times I would like to post about something Zen, something I've newly discovered. For instance, today I've been contemplating about Mind, and whether it creates time, and solidity. From my singular perspective, this is pretty deep stuff, and I have no read on whether I'm leaving people behind or boring them to death. Alternatively, I've had some great thoughts about “Zen for Beginners” posts, but wonder if I would be teaching 5th grade math to college students. So again, I see that it's my own fear, fear of being judged.

I'll add one more, then I'll explain the term 'paralyzed will'. I sometimes start a post, and (although not recently) actually like the content. But, as I continue writing, I'm aware that I am not willing to put in the effort to put the usual polish on the writing before posting. And I let that prevent me from posting. Well, to be honest, I chose this conflict for myself, and now that I'm aware of it, I have dropped it. So be it, if a post is unpolished. See first paragraph above.

Paralyzed will is doing nothing in the face of everything. Imagine waking up on a Saturday morning, and your entire to-do list has 50 things on it. You accept the fact that you can only get 20 done this weekend, although really you can only get 10 done. And you would love to get 2 done by noon, but in the face of all of this you just cannot get started. You're not lazy, you're, well, afraid. That's why I couldn't post, I was afraid of a bunch of imaginary consequences.

As I've come to this conclusion, I really am done writing about it already. So can we move on?

Meditation for Beginners
To some this may seem like blasphemy. I have only recently truly started to meditate. But, I bet some of you know exactly why it took me this long to get to this place.

True meditation never seemed necessary to me. I figured anything I can do while meditating, I could learn to do while I'm still doing other stuff. I am an excellent multi-tasker, have a very quick mind. But I was missing the entire point. It is clear, clear, obvious, and cosmically quite funny how far off I was.

I am still fighting to get to the pillow. And I commit to asking why, so that I can drop it and continue meditating. It's easily the most magical thing I've discovered and I choose to explore further.

Full disclosure: it's scary. You are going to encounter things you may not like, and you can either quit, run away, or forge ahead. Trust me, this is something much easier handled when you commit going in. Expect to be frightened, because Mind is the one in charge of pushing your fear button. And it's not afraid to use it.

I commit to being courageous in the face of whatever I might encounter. I go to the pillow, knowing fully many things will impel me to leave the pillow. I used to have animosity for Mind, but now I realize there is no malice. Mind is Mind, just like society is society. Accept it, and immediately it is clear what a gift it is when allied with it.

It's sort of like the saying, “you always find things in the last place you look”. It may seem like there is some reason you need to leave the pillow, such as a scary image, a sudden fear, a sudden hunger, whatever it is. I invite you to see this for the “Mind” that it is. More than that, see it not as a ploy by your Mind to get you off of the pillow, see it as just “the last thing you happened to think about.” It's the one thing that worked this time, but it needn't get you off the pillow ever again. Don't make it into something it's not, just accept the progress you made, and sit back down. Today, tomorrow, whenever, just do it.

There are zillions of reasons not to meditate. I don't personally have any valid ones, maybe you can think of one that holds. But short of literal serfdom, I think I could afford to watch a little less Netflix and play a little less online poker to create the time.

Language, The Printing Press, The World Wide Web
Incrementally, the evolution of communication in our history. Invention, then the ability to communicate on a global scale, then the ability to do it for free. You know how the scariest villains in the sci-fi movies are often “hive-minds”. Well the Web is more appropriately named than you might have imagined. We now have the ability to act as a whole, and despite trivial bickering, global action is inevitable. The human race is now a hive mind.
I bring this up because I didn't go looking for Zen, I promise you that. Some author hid it in a quantum physics book, chapter 8 I think. But it was like being shown a burst of light, no matter how tiny, I couldn't ignore it. But take away the WWW, pretend I'm 15 again, and how would I possibly pursue this spark?

A. Dedicate my life to getting to Tibet, spend years there, and hope they have the answer. (?)
B. Forget about it and go back to trying to procure a fake.

We have more and more freely available every day. Google is doing everything they can to get books and other human history online, to be available to everyone for free. (Yes, there is a non-zero cost to getting online, let's call it negligible for this discussion.) I have the resources to talk to family, read book after book, and now search and discuss immediately with the entire human race. So, inevitably, we will talk about things that are true.

My intuition tells me that Zen Buddhism doesn't have it all right. But it's really close, closer than other organized religions. Ironically, I feel that the very places they miss are so transparent. To see so much of the truth, but then cling to tradition, human legacy in some fundamental ways. (For more examples of this clinging to tradition, see “The Bible”, pages 1-end.)

I will admit that I know so little, that maybe Zen Masters have found the truth in these things and I am as yet unable to see it. But I will find that out myself.

I am personally stunned that the elections in Iran ended the way that they did. Sure it's not denying the Holocaust happened, but it's still a draconian denial of truth. And our new transparency should guarantee that doesn't happen anymore. I mean, they truly thought they could pretend that the opposition leader lost HIS HOMETOWN, and no one would take notice? Now, the government went strong-armed, and the people had a choice to escalate or back off, and they made their choice. I actually find it quite wise. There is no need to stand in front of a tank these days, just chill out, be patient. How do you think the next election will go down in Iran?

Judgement
One more topic today. Wow, I really understand why some Zen authors just go all over the place. When I write about Zen, there is no “crafting” involved, which is what is usually involved in writing. If I were to put out a book, I know I would simply have to start writing, and go back later and arrange it according to some thread or scheme. To think of writing a Zen book based on a preexisting outline makes me laugh.

It occurred to me lately on a whole new level, how much the entire human race is blameless for their actions. It would be like punishing a 5-year-old for bad manners. We can talk about why this is, but for now let's just start as if this is true.

If humanity really is clueless, then what good is judgment? Let me give you some examples:
A church I drive by on my way to work has a sign with removable letters, and posts these ridiculous sayings like, “Jesus will board your sinking ship” and “Pray and let God do the worrying” and “Many books inform but only The Bible transforms”. Someone picks these out, and he or she is obviously an idiot. But then thinking about their path, what life they have lived up until now, I realize that they just have had no chance to escape this particular set of delusions. Society, Christianity programmed this man/woman to the core.

A recent poll highlights the continuum of ignorance in the US. Only 62% of people think Obama was born in the US for sure. The next layers illustrate further levels, as more think he was Indonesian than Kenyan, and 6% even think he's Hawaiian and that HAWAII IS NOT A U.S. STATE. 38% of people think the current US president is not an American-born citizen?

What, they didn't check? Hoped no one would notice? Giant conspiracy (involving robots)?

Stepping back for a minute, I can just see them, as if they're on the local news. Telling the camera “what they think is true”. 10% think Obama is Indonesian, that's hilarious. They took the rumor of the “birth-certificate thing”, then made up their own guess about where he came from.

So, I accept the fact that the masses are just that, the masses. Programmable, programmed. To judge them is to judge a dog for not knowing Keats.

Zen is denying this programming and denying your history and your legacy and your accomplishment and your morality. It is dropping the need to take credit for anything, and your belief that things from the past are somehow relevant and important.

It's committing to living your own life.

Imagine you are floating down a stream. You know you can get to the river's end by floating for the rest of your life. And you are welcome to do just that, society will encourage it in more ways than you may first suspect. Finding Zen is like making that first stroke, starting to swim. Anywhere. I've been given this life, in whatever form it exists, and I choose to explore everything I can while I'm here.

Commit to finding the truth, living the truth, and the rest comes of its own. Drop everything you have been given, stop living other people's lives. Truth is readily and freely available, as much as you can handle, open the faucet as narrow or as wide as you choose. If you meditate, you will unleash a torrent. I've only recently discovered the joy of letting it flow over me. Whatever you do, I invite you to find these things for yourself.

I've discovered so many fascinating things in just a few minutes of meditation. How the act of thinking a thought can validate it, how emotions flow through my body and influence my choices, how many times I can count to one and forget to count to two. I choose to be writing about them soon.

Monitor As Zen Garden (With Directions)

2009-08-06T21:48:00.004-05:00

I recently did two things:

Replace my broken 22" LCD monitor with a new 28" monitor.

Move the computer into the main area of the house.

So now that it's in the living room, I would like to show something beautiful, and peaceful, on the monitor when I'm not using it. Google Photos Screensaver is the obvious choice, but where to get free, maintenance-free content? Well, golly, I'll tell ya how!

First, I signed up for my free account, and created an channel on framechannel.com. I then searched through my account, and found the RSS-feed for my channel, and added it to Google Photos Screensaver. I will give you mine, it's filled with National Geographic feeds and other beautiful scenery, more on that later. Finally, I added my other favorite picture feed, courtesy of EarthShots.org.

Now I have beautiful, amazing pictures as my screen saver. It's so nice I've backed off the sleep setting on my monitor to 2 hours. Here's how:

1. Download and install Google Photos Screensaver, or any screensaver that supports RSS feeds. To get Google Photos Screensaver, use Google Pack.

2. Configure Google Photos Screensaver. It's in your Start Menu now.

3. Locate feeds of pictures. More on this in a bit. I'll give you two to start:

http://www.earthshots.org/screensaver.php
http://rss.framechannel.com/user=punkval/pin=9117

4. To add an RSS feed, click on "Settings...".

Here are the options for configuring the photos you see. Check the box for "Photos from public sites", and click "Configure..." directly to the right of that.

Copy-paste the RSS text into the textbox, and click Add.

Here you go again, for your copy-paste delight:

http://rss.framechannel.com/user=punkval/pin=9118

http://www.earthshots.org/screensaver.php

Now that you've added some, you can click OK or optionally find some more. There are two great starting points at the bottom of this window.

That's it, you're good to go!

I would LOVE to make this a forum for readers to contribute their favorite feeds. If you leave them in the comments I will promote them to right here:

(be the first one!)

The Musings of a Hermit

2009-07-24T19:54:00.004-05:00

Is it me?

I am notoriously difficult to get ahold of. I screen calls, I don't return calls. It reminds me of a dialogue from Big Bang Theory (I'm paraphrasing):

Sheldon: "Sorry I'm late."

Penny (or Leonard): "Oh, did something happen?"

Sheldon: "No, I just really didn't want to come."

Recently, even the more-enlightened members of my family have been suggesting that "I get out more." If not socially, they claimed, then professionally. It may be helpful to have lunch with the work gang, and harmful to miss it.

As for that, I say bah. That assumes, desire, ambition, in the traditional sense. That I need to change the world by changing the people around me. Since I no longer play that game, I feel no need to go to these lunches. Now, I may CHOOSE to go to some lunches, but I will pick my highest choice, not do something I feel I should. I will continue to go home for lunch if I choose. Which brings me to my second point.

I'm not spending my forever alone, I'm spending it with my wife who I have known for 6 years who I adore more every day. I know that before I met her, I spent 90% of my waking hours (low estimate) looking for her. Does that just mean I'm codependent instead of a loner?

The real question:

Is there anything wrong with that?

I wonder if it's a generational thing. My parents' generation cannot understand how I could have such a small social circle, yet feel connected to my world. But they are not of the internet generation.

It's a different world. Now, I can't see myself ever Twittering, but that's because it's basically the opposite of Zen. Create a persona, use it to win an imaginary popularity contest. It all stems from a fundamental confusion, equating love and attention. Once you realize that those two things are different, the world is a different place.

Seriously, just for your benefit, the two most-universal conflict-creating confusions:

1. Pleasure = happiness

2. Attention = love

I've gone into this a lot recently, and I think #2 specifically stems from "Forced-boredom" as a kid. Maybe it's the time when you had to stay an extra week (out of summer vacation) at the farm in the middle of nowhere with your grandparents, simply because your brother was too much for them to handle alone. Maybe it's the hours you spent in class "not learning", going through the public school system. How much of the time in school were you actively spending learning? I think mine started at 50%, and then spiraled off starting in high school. Regardless, it leads to a subconscious story of "feeling trapped", unable to affect one's environment.

So as an adult, someone will act out this "story" by doing something that has a large of an impact as possible. In the past, they felt loved when they were actually receiving attention. So, now, subconsciously, attention = love, and, more attention = more love. The internet doesn't change that, it just makes the attention more accessible.

Nevertheless, I AM the internet generation. I can massively affect my world, or even make a living without leaving my house (although I have yet to attempt the latter). And do so, meeting exponentially more people in the process, than my father's father ever could.

I came of age with the internet, in my 1995 freshman year at college. I brought my shiny new computer (that I bought) to my dorm room, where I had a substantially fast 19200 baud "direct-connection". A fresh mind, straight out of high school, and all of a sudden, the entire world at my availability. Sure, there was internet before 1994, and Mozilla and Netscape, but not really...that's like saying that radio is an equivalent to TV.

So I'm happy in my huge little world for right now, despite all the worries of everyone who knows me. I ask you all this, if you are worried for me, check in and ask why. Is it society pushing that button through you? I bet it is. If not, I will be happy to listen to why I "should get out more."

Seriously, to all my friends and family, none of whom will ever read this, I do care about you, I am happy, and I think my lifestyle is wonderfully healthy. Please assume that my lengthy silences are evidence that I still feel the same way about you. And that I continue to get happier each and every single day. And if you're feeling that way, I'd love to chat about it.

Give me a call. I might even answer.

****

(Highly) Recommended watching:

The IT Crowd (unless you're "proper normal")

Head Case (ditto)

30 Rock

(Highly) Recommended Reading/listening:

"Outliers", Malcolm Gladwell (life-changing)

"The Pleasure of My Company", Steve Martin (he is a brilliant novelist)

Zen: Compromise

2009-06-27T20:11:00.004-05:00

I haven't blogged in weeks and weeks, after 3-4 posts/week for almost 2 years.

I haven't played online poker for weeks and weeks. After playing nearly DAILY for 5 years.

What's that about?

It all started with the arrival of a long-awaited week-off from work, after months and months of 7-day workweeks. I made solid plans to do exactly nothing during that week, and by the evening of the first night, I was transformed. Silence, emptiness, and timelessness all converged and allowed me to take one giant step inwards.

The single largest schism in my life up until then could be described as "attempting to do everything all at the same time." Instead of being a gourmet burger joint, carefully tending to the few most special customers in my life, I had become McDonald's. I was capable of giving 125% to anything, but was instead allocating that across 25 things, and giving them each 5%. Believe me, no one was satisfied, especially not me, and it wasn't because of the lack of effort on my part.

But, you may say, with the world we live in, and the technologies and social connections available to us, are we not capable of doing 25 things simultaneously, and doing them at 125% each?

It is possible, it is easy. The difference is in the choosing. How you choose your path in each moment.

There are two "flavors" of choosing, let me see if I can contrast them.

Abstract ('Mind') choices

1. Choosing to maintain grass in the front and back yard

2. Choosing to give one's child a good/great education

3. Loving one's wife

Specific ('Moment') choices

1. Choosing to cut the grass and water the shrubs now, or hire help to do it

2. Reading to one's child, tonight, and each night before bed

3. Writing a small note to one's wife and putting it in their wallet

Do you see that these are both sets of what we consider "good choices". Both may appear to lead us to the same conclusions, same destinations over time.

Let's look again at the first set. When I ask you how long it takes to do #1, or #2, or #3, in hours per week, you have no answer. When I ask you for the exact cost of #1 or #2 or #3, you have no answer. Any such question about the second set is easily answered.

Living life guided by abstract choices leads to compromise. By not choosing in each moment what to do, it's a subtle version of 'turning it over to a higher power'. And your time, your resources, your essence, you, will be divided up among the abstract choices and the commitments you have based on those choices. And if you are reading my blog, without ever meeting you, I can guess that you have over-allocated your time, energy, money and resources. Hey, it's the American way! It's something we poker players do best!

Choosing a set of abstract choices leads to an uneven amount of "choosing" to do in a given day, in a given moment. What to do if the lawn needs mowed AND the cat got sick AND the car needs an oil change? What to do when the next day none of these happen? To truly fulfill all your commitments and choices, does it take most or all of your waking hours? Do you still fall short? You see how every choice, every moment in this reality is choosing one compromise after another. Every time you choose to act in accordance with one "idea", you are neglecting the rest. And when nothing is pressing, you are bored. How can you possibly be bored, with the life that you live and the commitments you make and honor?

So, enough said, you're ready to make the change, ready to upgrade to the new view, the new way of choosing with me. Do you see the transformation you require making? Please feel free to pause here and answer this one for yourself. It's a skill you can develop, recognizing stories and their roots simply by going into them. When you are ready, proceed to the next paragraph.

It is about having your courage, your trust. You will have to trust that by doing each of your individual acts, it will lead towards the abstract goals that you are aiming for. Instead of starting from a destination and walking blindly towards it, you are looking at the step in front of you in each moment.

Trust that you will choose to read to your child, help him with his homework when he needs it. The courage to be present with him when necessary. Trust that by acting this way in each moment, his long-term education will meet all of your "abstract requirements" you may have set up at the beginning.

Do you see how living life by the abstractions is like a security blanket? It's creating process where none exists, and getting to the point in the most backward way possible. Deflecting the responsibility, and the blame, by allowing you external universe to make your choices for you.

You can start with a combination of your moral values, combined with your life experiences, to make a general judgement about how some "thing should be". "Should" is crap, believe me. "Should" could be defined as an antonym for "Zen". Anyways, so you've chosen that a certain thing should be a certain way. "My child should have a good education." Great.

Now you combine it with your own personal experiences, whether lived personally, or taken on from someone else through stories or parents or TV or other programming. So you come up with a basic set of ways to evaluate how this concept might be "accomplished". But, see already we don't have any tangible way to define whether it was actually "accomplished" or "not accomplished". Ignoring that and moving on, we take the "history", mix it with our "should", and out come the rules by which we can live our own lives. Take the kid to school every day, encourage extra-curricular activities, pay for soccer cleats, etc.

Rules? RULES you say? Why should we live our life by rules, even if they're supposedly our own? (They're not.)

Trust that you are aware, and capable of making the best choice in each moment. In this example, trust that your child is capable of handling his own education if he seems to be doing just that. By being aware in the moment, you will be there to help in the exact moments he needs it, which we all know will lead to the aforementioned "good education".

By making these choices, you are transcending the compromise that you had previously agreed with. It allows you to be complete in the activity you are doing, complete in each moment. If you are reading to your kid, you can be there fully while doing it. If you are instead "caring for his education", and "providing an income", and "figuring out that 'work thing' in your head" you will be complete in nothing. Never alone in one task, always spread out. Never complete in anything, never present in the true moment.

Courage, and trust. That if you act with completeness, in each moment, that your life will be exactly "as it should be". This is the Path of Zen, the ability to walk with courage one step at a time.

***

What does this mean for me personally? Blogging and poker were obviously two components of the giant compromise I was living. In my new reality, I do them when I choose to, instead of when I feel I "should", or when I was in the habit of doing it. I still enjoy both of them tremendously, and I will say that I am greatly transformed since taking the extended vacation from the tables. But I was tired of "5%" poker, I had proven time and again that I can be downright mediocre at poker without trying very hard. I would have had a tough time answering the "why are you playing poker, then?" question.

My energy flows outward now.

I feel joyful in each moment, because I am present with my choice to do whatever I happen to be doing. Incidentally, I am cooking more, and better than ever. I've started gardening a bit. I am excelling at work, and it's now fun while I do it. And while I've dipped my toe in poker a bit, I'm still mostly absent. Let's call that 'Expert Mode' for this new game, and I will upgrade that part when I am ready.

For now, I'm finding supreme pleasures in the simplest things.

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, Part I

2009-05-02T21:48:00.002-05:00

(ed. Note) In the interest of getting this posted, I have broken this into two parts. Part II coming soon.

"Secrets of the Millionaire Mind: Mastering the Inner Game of Wealth"
by T. Harv Eker

This is not a book review. It is not a book report. To do so would be ignoring the value of this book. Instead, imagine that this is a mini-seminar, teaching you the book. Yes, it's that important. The reason is simple, he could have named the book differently, Secrets of the Mind. He chose money, because that's what he chose to have first. Believe me, I get it. And the book is really about understanding Mind, recognizing how it has held you back in the past, and upgrading, allying with it to create your highest choices.

Financial Blueprint

The first concept addressed, in Part One of the book, is a person's "financial blueprint". This is the combined sum of everything you know, have heard, have learned, and have experienced about money in your lifetime. And there are several tools to help the reader discover his own blueprint. Some sources for this? Chime in if these apply to you, I've included if they apply to me in parentheses.

Phrases you've heard (yes)
Parental influences (yes)
Societal influences, such as church and school (yes)
Personal experiences (yes)

What else?

"Money is the root of all evil."
"More money, more problems."
"Money can buy you happiness."
"Money can't buy you happiness."

Money is a necessary part of a large society. It facilitates trade, by allowing the easy movement of goods, so nobody has to figure out how many goats are worth how many cows. Now, stop. Money is nothing else, certainly none of those things above. That is programming, specifically your programming, and I will get to that in a bit.

Everything in your life up until now can be combined to create a basic "blueprint" for your relationship with money. Now this is one place to be completely Zen. It makes no difference what your past is. What your previous experiences and influences were. In fact, remember this one thing: all of these things got you exactly here. If your blueprint is small, your finances are currently small. If your financial blueprint leads to financial abundance, your abundance has already happened.

Your financial blueprint is the exact blueprint that creates your current scenario. How clearly you see this is up to you. When you sit down to think about/draw up your financial blueprint, I invite you to leave any mental baggage at home. The more honest and accurate your assessment is, the more you will be able to change it.

Following is the first of several "warning flags", which I am giving you to help you understand when you are you, and when you are your Mind. In most cases, they will help you to notice and discern when your Mind is likely deceiving you, and how.

Warning flag: if you find yourself saying, "that's not me", "that doesn't apply to me", I invite you to redouble your efforts on that exact point. The fact that your Mind is so quick to dismiss something often means that it is shielding a delusion. Delusions fade in the light of truth, and your Mind knows that dismissing the idea quickly is the only way you can keep the delusion it has substituted for the truth. So really check in, especially on the points that seem to be "not you".

So, you have a financial blueprint. Does the fact that your parents handled their finances badly mean anything to you right now? Yes and no. Yes, it likely affected every choice you've made about money since you started getting an allowance and before. No, it need not affect a single choice you make starting right now. And here is where I leave it to you to drop everything "you know". If you bring any "knowledge", or "truths" to this discussion, you are probably shielding delusions, or programming at the very least. Drop everything that was given to you, you already have every answer you require.

Enough preaching for now. You are ready, willing, and excited to discover your own financial blueprint, and see it clearly and accurately, so that you can upgrade it with full effectiveness. How do you go about doing this? Well, here I will defer to T. Harv. This is one of the major exercises of this book, and it will be different for everyone. I've given you the basic idea, which is to honestly assess your programming and stories about money, and how they affect your views of money, and choices about money. If you would like more specific help, read (and reread as necessary) Part One of the book.

The Wealth Files

The second concept (Part Two) details how you can upgrade your blueprint. For example, your Mom made you get money from Dad when you were a child, so now you have a blueprint about how men are providers, and women are spenders. And simply by naming it, you can see that it's patently false. What now? How do you move forward, how can you upgrade that?

The answer? SURPRISE! Enlightenment, awareness, self-honesty, consciousness. Who was surprised? Raise your hand, then remember your coat on the way out. Of course it all comes down to awareness. Which begs the first obvious question. If awareness is all it takes, what else is there to do? With your fully accurate financial blueprint, you have a road map of awareness on the subject. But your roadmap can only help you navigate where you've been. In Part Two, T Harv describes how we can upgrade our existing road map, replacing it with the maps that are used by the wealthy.

This process can easily be separated into two stages:

One, take the advice and suggestions offered, whether you believe them, understand them, or even despise them. If you resist, remember again where you are, and exactly how you got here. Are you really going to cling to those things?

Two, move past the idea that you need programming to help make choices. Realize that you need neither the old stories or the new ones. That you can write your own rules, and that rules are an unnecessary crutch, which are only ever partially correct. Be careful here, and really check in. This is the whole enchilada, and you need to make sure you are fully present before attempting to move into this space.

Warning Flag: If you are inclined to skip from Step One to Step Two, you are most likely still coming from a place of "knowing". You may think you are moving from Mind into enlightenment, but in this case it's likely your Mind choosing NOT to reevaluate the things it "knows". Again, if you've never been a millionaire, how can your Mind know what it means to "know being a millionaire"? It's not just "wanting", or "imagining" that makes it all happen, or how many zillionaires would be wandering the Earth? If you resist the ideas he puts forward, then you are clinging to the past, "already knowing" the very thing you choose to clearly see. It's not important that you accept these ideas as gospel, ultimate truths. As I mentioned, no matter which outcome you choose, these concepts can be extremely useful landmarks, to help you understand the terrain. Once you can see the terrain, understand how you can move from one place to another, only then do I advise you to toss the map and move like an eagle, flying directly to your new choices.

Yes I'm Still Here

2009-04-23T16:17:00.002-05:00

(He says, as he sets (shatters) the record for the longest time without posting). I've been busy, I'll leave it at that :)

I'm sure you've noticed the change in content from poker into more Zen. This is intentional, but not set in stone.

The larger picture is this:

Zen is something huge, true, universal, pervasive, useful, fun. It's the method through which I learned to truly celebrate my life, ALL PARTS of it. I intend to illuminate the sources, the reasons, the paths, the whole effing point of Zen.

Zen is not the whole answer, of course. But consider it the Algebra, the context from which we can graduate to Calculus. Now if that doesn't make Zen sound fun...

If you are interested in getting started on your own, email me and I'll gladly point you at some resources you can check out. In the meantime, please chime in and let me know what you enjoy reading the most, what you've been hoping I would write about. I love when that happens!

*******

Next post will be a full review of "Secrets of The Millionaire Mind" by T. Harv Eker. It's $11 and a truly revolutionary book, I will explain fully. Do yourself a favor, just order it from Amazon and start reading it right now. Seriously.

Seriously.

Quantum Physics: An Example

2009-04-05T20:59:00.004-05:00

Family Guy this week was awesome. For once, it was more than just a clever story with jokes, it actually had a theme. AND the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I mean, come on, obvious Emmy.

As I watched the Christians throwing books on the fire, I laughed when one was Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time". Because that was arguably the first book I read that opened my eyes to existence. I devoured it and anything else I could find after that. I would (and still do) check the "Science" section at Borders every time I went in the store, for anything new. Why? Because Quantum Physics reads like an entire volume of "The Truth-Is-Stranger-Than-Fiction Files". Let me give you some examples, and if I butcher the content I apologize.

It is my task to convince you not to turn away because you don't understand [quantum physics]. You see my physics students don't understand it. ... That is because I don't understand it. Nobody does.
(Feynman, Richard P. Nobel Lecture, 1966, 1918-1988, QED, The Strange Theory of Light and Matter)

Quantum Electrodynamics (QED):

Straight from the horse's mouth at Wikipedia:

In classical optics, light travels over all allowed paths and their interference results in Fermat's principle. Similarly, in QED, light (or any other particle like an electron or a proton) passes over every possible path allowed by apertures or lenses. The observer (at a particular location) simply detects the mathematical result of all wave functions added up, as a sum of all line integrals.

Allow me to explain. :D When you turn over a CD/DVD to look at the recordable surface, you will see rainbow, or prismatic, lighting. Now, what you are actually looking at is a set of very tightly packed concentric circles. Like an old LP, but with grooves so small that it uses a laser to read/write data. When you see the prism effects, you'll notice that they aren't related to what is recorded on the disc. That is because they are caused by the physical shape of the disc, with its millions of concentric circles. They are actually effects explained by QED.

Light can be thought of as behaving as both a particle and a wave, as known from the most famous QM experiment, the double-slit experiment. In this case, think of it as a wave. Now, think about a beam of light, as it travels from a light source to your eye. It's oscillating along, like a slalom skiier, when it bounces off of the surface of the optical disc and is reflected towards your eye.

Since the data on the DVD is written in the visible-light spectrum, the following aspect of Quantum Physics becomes visibly apparent:

When light travels from point A to point B, it does not take the shortest path, or in fact any ONE path. It simultaneously takes all of the possible paths.

The evidence? The prisms you see when reflecting the light. The colors come from the fact that light takes on multiple paths. Some are directly reflected to your eye, some take a more roundabout way to get there, and interfere with nearby lightwaves which are also bouncing off the surface. What you end up seeing is a wave-addition of ALL the beams traveling ALL of the possible paths to get from the source to your eye.

It may seem like something simple is happening here, but trust me, it's far weirder than it first appears. It's not just that a bunch of light beams get blended to form constructive/destructive interference. If you take it down to one light particle or "photon", and fire one singular photon at an optical disc, it alone will travel ALL possible paths to get to your eye.

Now this is including the paths that take it to Mars and back, although those paths are of the "less likely" sort. Why does that matter? Because the light that reaches your eye isn't a sum of all of the paths of light treated equally, but rather, each path is weighted according to how likely it is. The most likely path in this case IS the shortest path. Paths very close to the shortest are the next most likely candidates. Very quickly as you get further from the shortest path, they become astronomically unlikely, and contribute virtually nothing to the end result.

But the close ones, the REALLY close ones, do count in the final result. And some of those really close ones bump into the adjacent walls of the grooves of the optical disc, causing them to take slightly altered paths, creating the prismatic intereference that we see.

*****

Quantum Physics is like that up-and-down. When Newtonian physics describes an object (apple) falling towards another object (the earth), it talks about some strange force that draws all bodies together. Einstein saw that instead, the universe, space itself is bent by gravity, so that "the apple falling" is actually just, if you'll excuse the hyperbole, "the universe settling into a more comfortable position." It's not that the apple and the ground are separate objects attracted to each other, but rather one giant mesh that shifts around. And did I mention that space and time are also the same thing? Think about it, you've heard of "space-time" before, but have you considered the ramifications? Space = time = space? Interchangable like currencies? The ramifications are huge, but I'll discuss those another day.

If you're looking for good reading choices to get started on your own, "A Brief History of Time" is a wonderfully accessible introduction to quantum physics and cosmology, by the guy who predicted the existence of black holes. Another great author, and the "discoverer" of QED, is quoted above, Richard Feynmann. He has a famous series of lectures among other materials, and is both brilliant and delightfully entertaining, especially for all of the non-physicists in the world.

Zen: Path (An Important Part of My Journey)

2009-03-28T23:24:00.003-05:00

I have mentioned in the past my pseudo-Christian upbringing. And while I will never condone that as acceptable parenting, I forgive my parents for doing what they thought was in my best interest. I recently realized my gift from that, a starting point on my road of spirituality. Christianity is history, just like US History, it's a set of knowledge about a specific subset of Man. So when I started exploring sprituality on my own, I had a base reference to start from.

I went simply to what I knew to be true, reality. Specifically finding books like A Brief History of Time and Chaos. I went to read about cosmology, the history (and future) of the universe as we know it. And I went to the quantum physics world, to find out what we know about the physical universe in the present. There was no one epiphany, no one moment where I said, "AHA! It's Quantum Chromodynamics!" It just happens that some of these things interested me greatly.

I spent several years reading about the mind-bending world of quantum physics, reveling in the counterintuitive features, the mysteries, and its inherent confirmation of free will. So I reached the edges, where they explained string theory to me, but said it was neither consistent nor provable which, if any, of its solutions are correct. So they're sort of stumped there. Therefore, there isn't much more to read about on the subject, at the moment.

My progress took a few years' pause, coincidentally correlating to a time in my life when I was in a dead-end relationship. I was really in a place where I felt stuck with what life was dealing me. And that it was my burden to carry. At least I could feel like a martyr, fueling my own sadness, getting me through each day. And I loved sad music, and skipping class, and knowing my girlfriend was likely cheating on me, but just choosing to be delusional instead.

Again I'm just spitballing on the timing. But to be fair, those who know me best, know I think causality is a bit fishy, anyways. Regardless, I found this book titled The Physics of Consciousness. I guess I had progressed far enough into Physics to be looking for the Physics of Life, of Whatever This Is. And this book has a very unexpected thread holding the entire book together. The author lost a childhood love at 16. And he's been haunted by the question his entire life, "Does she still exist in some form?" So, and I will fully admit, that at the time it was in spite of this, I kept reading. (Gushy love story? Did I buy the wrong book?)

Chapter 8 (or 6, one of the middle ones) is Zen. Out of nowhere, put on the brakes after 7 chapters of physics, Zen. Why he found it. His best attempt at explaining it to you. And one way he does this is by taking an example, a good one, and pointing out why his teacher thought it meant one thing, and he thinks it means something different. His is not a very good example of Zen, but you can see what there is to work with. Mind, language, all that. Everything you encounter in your life is identified and understood by comparing it to things. Things in the present, things from your past, things you have and haven't yet imagined. So he's trying to compare Zen to something. Or one explanation of Zen to another explanation, to point out the contrast. And through this small window, the light of existence came pouring in on me.

Sometime later, I remember feeling very clearly "behind my eyes" for the first time. It was noon, I was on an offramp of a cross-town freeway in Des Moines, "the hole", Iowa. Maybe you've had a similar experience. I was staring out my car window, but really I was watching myself stare out of a car window. If you haven't yet, feel free to give it a try. But back to the book, for now.

This book was so groundbreaking for me that it was like reading two trilogies. Every new idea was astoundingly different, simple, far-reaching, historic. And maybe even true. He doesn't claim to know the truth, but when he says "I wonder" it's truly amazing stuff. Stuff about how the brain makes choices, whether there is a random element. Whether (and I'm obviously oversimplifying here) space is the infinite set of all possibilities, and time is chosen set of possibilities. Again, you see the dilemma, that didn't sound profound at all coming from me, really. But there is something there, trust me.

What I know about Quantum Physics: it is not the final generation of physics. There was Classical physics, Newton stuff. And while that's still "true", it's incomplete, and incorrect in some ways of viewing entire concepts. There will be a day, and within a couple decades, when they realize that quantum physics is well, quaint. It explains things very well, but it's just a big contrivance, created by the minds of men to explain further and further parts of the galaxy, and the cosmos. It works for now, but I think we will at some point soon say, "Duh."

It's also one of the fundamental mysteries of quantum physics that two particles can be "connected" over a distance too large for information to be traveling between them (at the speed of light, the current cosmic speed limit). So as they try to divide into smaller and smaller pieces, they find that these small pieces interact in new and unexpected, even undetectable ways. Just this year, someone probably sealed an eventual win the Nobel in Physics for discovering evidence of "dark energy." They are finding water, mud, on Mars. Possibly, increasingly probably, life exists in some form there, underground, RIGHT NOW. So, what does that do to your Garden of Eden?

Space and time are connected. Matter and energy are connected. These are not features of a monotheistic, omnipotent, omniscient God. These suggest a cosmic unity.

My Zen is truly different than organized religion. It's origins are in Zen Buddhism, but Buddhism is organized religion, and is polluted as such. We could go on all day about the details, but let me give you one quick example. Buddhism teaches that we are here on multiple lives, and that once we can break free of the cycle, we can live our last life and be at peace. And while the methods and teachings that lead to enlightenment are often valuable and good, they are not set in the right intent.

You are not here to live your current life for any other purpose. If you allow past lives, future lives, prospects of heaven and hell, or any "higher power" to influence your life, your choices, then you are not really here.

Be here, now. What else is there?

Full Tilt Withdrawal Woes

2009-03-24T23:25:00.002-05:00

I am a profitable player. Lifetime, I am up a significant amount. Yet, even so, I have made significantly more deposits than withdrawals. I have made very few withdrawals, because it seems like every time I dare, I get boned.

Best case scenario, my money is nowhere for 3 weeks. Exactly where I need it.

So this time, I withdraw into a bank account. The exact same one I used to deposit before. A major bank, national.

3 weeks. Nothing. I email Full Tilt, they say they will check into it. "It could take a week, or more" just to complete their investigation.

1 more week passes. Nothing from anyone. Not FT, obviously not the money.

I make 3 withdrawals a year, I quit playing on Bodog because they did the same thing to me. Now as I take out some from Full Tilt, I'm starting to feel the same way.

Is this the standard, "jerk the player around", am I expecting too much to be able to withdraw some cash?

Zen: Projections

2009-03-22T13:48:00.007-05:00

I would honestly love to write about this stuff every day. It's just so much "fun" to write about Zen because it's such an ethereal thing. And language is a product of Mind, but not just a small manufacturing. Language is the very thing that enabled us to move from primates to humans, to communicate and grow into a different type of animal. A society. But Zen is something altogether separate, transcendent to Mind, and therefore language. Using language to describe no-mind is kind of like describing "black" as "the color inside a black hole".

So, while I sit here bubbling with ideas about how to share with you, I'm often staring at my keyboard in dismay. And as you can tell from reading, I generally am not stuck for verbage. But to say these things correctly, language is often insufficient. And I choose to give you the full impression, and not give you a small filtered version.

Projections refer to your very existence. To borrow an extremely useful metaphor from Osho, when you go to the movies, everyone looks at the screen. But the movie doesn't come from there, it's a blank white sheet. But nobody is looking back at the projector.

Your Mind is the projector. If you let it, it will show you infinite tales, of mystery, intrigue, dualities and drama like you've never seen before. But, there are as many worlds as there are minds. You can choose to live in any of them, including the real one. But it requires being separate from the projector. Stepping outside the movie, to see it from the outside.

Are you your thoughts? Are you what your senses tell you? Do you have a soul?

Remember this. Let's say you're on a vast, futuristic Star-Trek type ship, staring out into the gorgeous vastness of the galaxies. Picture it, the wonder of it all. Now, remember that while you feel like you're looking out a giant window pane, you're probably staring a viewscreen that has been specially designed to simulate the feel and appearance of the real window. But the picture is elsewhere, it's been processed by a computer, chewed up and spit out repeatedly. And maybe nothing happened to change it. Or maybe it's entirely fabricated.

You may feel like you're behind your eyes. It's possible, it happens, it's a choice you can make. I'll lay odds the size of Canada though you're looking at a viewscreen in your brain.

It's the natural condition that man has become used to. Your Mind is still the best movie software ever. The movie is always played on your eyes, and it seamlessly integrates into any imagined dream instantly. It's the ultimate in seamlessness, can you even catch the transitions? It's the ultimate episode of "Mr. Show", where you're watching the next skit before you realize, "Hey, what happened to that other thing they were doing?"

So, this is just true. So, we have the ultimate XBox360,000,000 for our movie projector. Well, that explains whey we are always using it. I mean, when Jean Luc Picard looks out the window, the captain of the ship, he chooses the fancy viewscreen. It's like a window, but with extra features, enhancements.

Your Mind is still the ultimate eye-candy tool on the planet. So use it! Enjoy it! Now that you are standing here, looking at the projector, do you see magic that it can do? Great, I love it. Love it.

Back to the original point.

If you've given control of the projector over to your mind, you are watching what it chooses for you. It is picking out your viewing selections 24-7 all week. :D So, you have great programming to watch. Hmmm...programming...where have I heard that word?

But by relinquishing control, you've also signed a hidden, implied contract with your Mind. You've given it free reign to smudge or straight-up invent "reality". Think about how different someone can look to you, based purely on your feelings for that person. Do you have an ex, that was gorgeous to you when you were together, but is now repellent to your eyes? That's your mind, adding it's special effects to your movie. To give you, let's face it, a more thorough experience of the events. In Futurama, they invented the "smelloscope", to smell the regions of deep space. In this case, you are getting sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch, but your brain is taking all of those and mixing it up with emotions, memories, hormones, and presenting you with the best concoction it can produce. In real-time.

I invite you simply to join me at the window sometimes. To watch your movie, and remember the projector.

Online Poker: Goodies!

2009-03-12T17:37:00.005-05:00

Let's face it. From day 1, online poker can feel like a carnival.

"Give us your money, and you get some credits."

"First deposit, we'll give you 100% bonus on your credits. But you can't have the bonus credits now, you get them over time."

(from a different internet "tube") "Hey, leave them, come over here! We'll give you 10% bonus. It's not 100%, but you get it right away!"

"Here! You've earned some reward points, some Iron Man points, some Frequent-Flier miles, and a free car wash! (with 10-gallon purchase)"

"Withdrawing money? Sure! You'll have it before your kids graduate high school! Probably!"

Let's walk through the finer points of all of the bells and whistles.

1. Rakeback

Rakeback is the first thing you should know about when starting an account. There are different places you can go for rakeback, but if you plan on playing any cash games at all, you simply must get rakeback. Here's how it works.

The price of rakeback is your referral bonus. This is why you need to get rakeback at the very beginning. So, for instance, at Full Tilt they currently give $100 to the referrer, and $25 to the new player. Total bonus $125.

So, to continue the example, instead, you sign up for rakeback at Full Tilt Poker. Sign up, and instead of a referral bonus you will get 27% back of every dollar (with rare exceptions) you drop into the rake. If this doesn't sound like much, I invite you to play a little cash and see how much you contribute to the rake. This is enough money that it could easily double (or more) the profits of a small stakes player.

Is it worth your referral bonus? Yes. If you win a $3 raked pot, you get 80 cents back. Every time. Do you plan on winning at least 150 pots, lifetime?

2. Deposit Bonus

On your first deposit, sites will give you a matching bonus of some sort. Sometimes, bonuses like this (and others) require "clearing" before you actually get your money. What is clearing?

Clearing means you have to earn your bonus. You do this by playing raked hands, and literally putting money into the rake. They wrap it in "points" and other fancy names, but it all comes down to this. They can afford to pay such a large bonus to every player because you help them earn it back. By playing raked hands.

So, you have to work off a bonus, within a reasonably-long timeframe. However, if you were going to play those hands anyways, this becomes free money.

Warning!

This warning is from personal experience. I used to play at a site that offered redeposit bonuses, which basically meant I could withdraw my money, deposit it again, and get a new bonus, usually 20-30%. Then I would clear those bonuses. Now, at the time, I wasn't good enough to make a profit, and often deposited $500, got a $200 bonus, and by the time I cleared the bonus I had $350, not the $700 I could have had if I was playing "rake-even" (break-even plus the rake).

Don't let the allure of deposit bonuses change your game. If, worst-case scenario, you don't get it all cleared in time, that's okay, you get what you were able to clear. Don't hurry, don't play extra hands, just do what you do and enjoy the free money.

3. Rewards Points

Rewards points are a lot like frequent-flier miles. You receive a certain number of points for investing some money. You can get them on slot machines when you sign up with the casino. Live casinos will give you some comps for playing a certain number of hours, or just value on your frequent-player card.

So, the online equivalent is RPs, ARPs, FTPs, something like that. And since it's online and easy to track, you'll find most sites give points in an EXACT proportion to the rake paid in. They often count these points as a criteria to clear bonuses, as in #2 above.

So, you probably will notice that these are small. As a specific example on Full Tilt, 600 FTP will get you into a satellite, which pays 1 $26 token. So, at this exchange rate (this is a good rate, they do vary), it works out to about 200 FTP = $1. So, receive your points, and translate them into a bit of money or a bonus satellite tourney.

4. Iron Man (Full Tilt, other sites may have an equivalent program)

On Full Tilt, they have a program called Iron Man for players who play a lot. And by that, I mean a lot of cash games, since the rakes for tourneys are usually not enough to earn any significant points. However, by earning a certain number of points, a certain number of days in a given month, you can qualify for medals and bonus freerolls. Medals, which are like fancy points, can be exchanged for stuff or bonuses. And freerolls, if that's your style, allow you to win some moneys, by playing against a large field. One thing of note -- these players are mostly limit, cash players, because that's the easiest route to becoming an Iron Man. So, if you are better than the average cash player at tourneys (90% of you are), this might be a very +EV opportunity for you.

Summary:

I know it's a lot of bells and whistles, but there is some real value to be had in the "perks". Let's say you have a 4% profitability (ROI) over time, and rakeback and bonuses can get you a combined 4% more. It sounds like a small amount, but do you see that you just doubled your profits?

Most of these things require very little effort on your part, so make sure you don't miss out on all the free money that is available to you.

Pitfalls of Poker #2: Cross-Contamination

2009-03-07T20:11:00.003-06:00

If you play more than one table at a time, good for you. I truly think that poker is 70-90% dead air. Sure, there is much to be learned from your opponents, but let's say your hourly rate is actually higher when you are in 2 games, as opposed to 1. So much for traditional, casino poker, eh? I'm sure some make a max rate when they play 4 tables, or 10. So, this is truly a great option for some of us geeks to have.

Now, I have some specific things to look for when you're multi-tabling, what I call "cross-contamination." What do I mean by this? I mean letting one game you're in affect the others. There are obvious ways, and subtler ones after that:

Pressed for time. If you make a hurried choice because the other game was pressing for time in one way or another. If you accidentally time out when it's detrimental.
Confused. Any 2 different games will do, and if playing tourneys then maybe the blinds are different. Maybe your tourney situation is different. Or maybe you're so bored, you're simul-tabling HORSE. Now that can get fun.
Table mood, feel, flow. If you end up raising light into a table of maniacs, or show up late and not know what exactly a 3-bet and 4-bet mean. Is this the circus? Or is that actual strength?
YOUR mood, feel, flow. I think this is one you might easily overlook. Are you carrying your mood, your good and bad results, from table to table? Let's say you play 2 SNG's at once. Have you ever felt yourself jamming A5s on one table, purely because you just got sucked out on, or even just lost a coin flip, at the other table? Oh, only about a thousand times, you say?

As we choose to play our absolute best poker over time, we always start by recognizing something, by increasing our awareness. So look for these things, recognize them, and simply avoid letting them affect your play. Then make the right choice (FOLD ACE RAG) in each moment.

Pitfalls of Poker #1: "Streaks"

2009-03-06T15:42:00.003-06:00

When we're not playing poker, we LOVE to talk about poker. We all know a bad-beat story (or two), usually our own. But even most amateurs know that one really horrid 2-out river does not reflect on their ability to play poker correctly, profitably.

So what else do poker players talk about? Results. Their day, their session, their last 3-sessions, their month. The week they had last month. The current heater. So, in the light of using our Mind to play our best poker, is this beneficial content? Does the information discussed here have a positive effect on our future ability to play our best poker?

The answer is, no. Let's start by identifying these conversations for what they really are. They are the Mind, serving itself. The Mind is concerned with your statistics over a given length of time, and likes to make neat packages. So it might pick a day you started winning until a day you stopped winning, and think of that as a "good streak". It might see that you were up X$ this week, up Y$ for the month, and take those amounts and arbirtrary boundaries, and give them significance they just don't have.

So what are poker results, really? Am I really saying:

You shouldn't just look at the results of one hand

You shouldn't just look at the results of a string of hands

You shouldn't just look at the results of a week or a month

Yes.

True poker is not about ANY collection of results of hands, or tourneys, or cash game sessions. It's about the collection of individual poker choices you make, for your entire lifetime. Or in any arbitrary timeframe. The important distinction is that you are graded (and rewarded) based on your choices, not on your results.

An Iowa analogy for our Midwesternites:

If you were evaluating a hybrid of corn to plant, which method would you choose:

Plant some of each kind, and pick the best looking plant that grows.

Plant some of each kind, over several harvests, and take the one that shows the best overall results.

Now, before we move forward, it's possible your mind has caught and jumped on the fact that I just suggested to you to evaluate based on a length of time ("over several harvests"). Let it go, it's not the point of this illustration. Don't let your Mind use it to cloud the truth about what I'm really saying.

What AM I really saying? I'm illustrating that individual results can vary, and that we all know to look for overall performance to evaluate something's true quality. But also, no matter what your method of selection, it's always about the seed. The seed is what is upgraded, the seed is what can be changed. Better seed, better yield.

What lessons do I draw from this?

I don't alter my play based on the result of a session, a week, whatever. I transcend the "streak", and I am aware of your quality of play over that period of time. If I played poorly, then I alter/upgrade my play. If I just fared poorly, I trust and move on.

I see the "streaks" for what they really are. They are stories, created by the Mind. Why? Sometimes for entertainment, but mostly because that's what Mind does. Lots of raw information available, so it takes it and sorts it, packages it, labels it, processes it, reprocesses it, repackages it, etc. And while it's doing this, it makes selections and groupings based on "what I want to see", "how I feel about poker at this time", "how I feel about life at this time", "how I feel about that thing you just ate", and so on. I see the unreliability of this packaged information, and I treat it as such.

Now that I know how to evaluate your play, I am proactive. I go get real numbers (not remembered stuff), I cooperate with my Mind to help you understand what my play has really manifested.

I identify areas of strategic weakness, and upgrade them.

I identify missing knowledge, and find ways to fill the holes. And while I am at it, I enhance and expand upon the knowledge I do have.

I use my Mind to help recognize times of subpar play and their reasons. Are they emotional, physical, Mind, money-situation, ... Now that I recognize them, I can understand their sources, and prevent/avoid/deal with them, such that I am always playing at my full ability.

Please feel free to add to my list here, in the comments if you dare.

The not-so-secret ending here, is that the game of poker will invariably, inevitably reward good play over time. The more you play, the more inevitable it is. Maybe you "knew" this too. Now you can take it to the next level. Make it a point not to have a profitable week, but to plant the best seeds you can in every possible moment. Trust that your profitable weeks will follow.

Playing Poorly

2009-03-05T10:53:00.002-06:00

So, last night, I turned in a complete, thorough, sub-par performance. And we've all been there, so let's look at this unpopular situation. How do we accept it, learn from it, ~~avoid repeating~~ upgrade it? Well, first, let's look at the scorecard for the evening. For reasons that will be explained later, I am grading out of 125, not 100.

Let's look at the "scoring categories" for the evening:

Focus
70/125
I played multiple tables, and chatted with multiple people. I had 2 tables open, and instead of choosing to play those to the best of my abilities, I opened a 3rd table. I closed it soon after, for partial credit.

Intensity
90/125
One of the better qualities of my play last night. I was paying attention to most hands, and I was fully present for a majority of my (mostly bad) decisions.

without focus, intensity can only be sporadic and isolated. So, at best, I was playing some isolated hands well.

Creativity
80/125
Again, marginal. I made weak calls, weak folds, calls when I knew I was crushed. My bluffs were often emotionally-timed, instead of situationally-timed. I dared to play a couple of hands differently, but didn't actually do this with any gameplan. I just went "Opposite George" for one bet/raise/call, and then waited to see what happened. I guess I assumed they would just ship me the pot after such an unexpected play.

Intuition
40/125
Blurgh. I trusted some reads, ignored others. Mostly I just pushed a button before I could actually get to the point where I had a read.

In the past, my mind used to be in charge of making ALL choices for me. And, I find myself listening to my intuition more, speaking from my heart more, and acting from my center more. This has made three things apparent to me:

Mind is:
1. Self-emergent.
2. Self-serving.
3. Self-preserving.
This is not a criticism. It's just a statement of some inherent qualities of Mind. So, now I notice it is making subtler attempts to regain control of my entire day-to-day life. It can seem devious, deceptive, almost like it's an enemy. But that's just Mind's nature. It's basically alive.

A good metaphor for this is society. While not actually consisting of anything tangible, "society" is nevertheless involved in almost everything we do on a given day. It started as a self-emergent property of individuals, and has evolved into having a life of its own. It is very self-preserving. If you chose to wander off, to go have your own individual life, how many different forces would attempt to pull you back?

Ok, so my Mind is here to stay, and very powerful, and the best thing I can do is teach it how intuition can help improve my poker playing. So, Mind...this is for you.

Intuition is my friend. It helps me (us) make the best possible decisions.

I recommit to listening to my intuition.

Positivity
80/125
Decent. I did tilt one time, based on a not-that-bad "beat", which felt worse at the time. In the next hand I proceeded to ruin my table image AND dump 1/3 of my stack. One huge lapse, some other minor ones.

Two nights ago, I watched How To Lose Your Lover (US Title). First, off-topic, I can easily say I probably never would see this movie if not for Netflix Instant-Play and my new XBox360. Ignoring everything else cool about the XBox360, I can now say, this alone justifies its purchase.

Back to the movie. A biographer decides to "break up with his life", and L.A. (his city) as well. He feels he's a New Englander at heart, and after seven years of a crappy life in L.A., he wakes up and realizes that he chooses so much more. He chooses to start telling the WHOLE TRUTH, about his opinions, his history, and everything else. Society, in the form of his friends and acquaintances, of course doesn't encourage/support/allow this. In fact, they hate him for telling them things they don't want to hear.

To get to the point without ruining the movie for you, he finds that his new commitment to honesty, combined with committing to his own actual highest choices, has changed much more than his own day-to-day humdrum life. He is reborn, in-place, in that exact moment. The only time his transformation takes is the time it takes him to realize it.

I invite you to upgrade your self-awareness, specifically self-honesty. If you can, and are willing to regularly evaluate your own play in this context, you have opened the door to your improvement.

"News"

2009-03-03T12:40:00.002-06:00

ABC "News" update:

Upper-Income Taxpayers Look for Ways to Sidestep Obama Tax-Hike Plan

Okay, if you haven't caught it yet, here's the catch. Income Taxes are taxes that are paid as a percentage of income. But to get a story, ABCNews managed to find a reporter who doesn't understand that, to ask a bunch of questions of people who don't get that either. It's like having Jessica Simpson do a story on Buffalo Wings, then printing it on the front page because she found some people who say "they're hard to catch" because "they fly away".

Let's say the plan goes into effect. If a taxpayer makes $249,999 he'll pay X dollars in taxes. If he makes another $2 that year, how much tax will he pay?

$X + $0.66. Whereas if the threshold wasn't there, he might pay $X + $0.62. Only the dollars ABOVE $250 get taxed at a higher rate.

Here, The New Republic puts it better:

Wealthy Idiots Meet Idiot Reporter

Now, the obvious objection here is that the tax code doesn't work that way. A tax increase affects the marginal dollar that a person gains. That's [sic] means only every dollar over $250,000 is taxed at a higher rate. Obama is not proposing a tax system whereby somebody who goes from $249,999 to $250,000 suddenly becomes poorer. Nobody has ever enacted a tax hike like that in the history of the United States.

Here's to months of informed, intelligent, productive and progressive debate about tax policy!

New Bloggers

2009-03-02T21:56:00.004-06:00

OhCaptain
OhCaptian is a cool cat -- and not a new blogger, just new to my blogroll. I got to meet him in Vegas, and he's a fellow Midwesternite. Of course, I've upgraded since then, but MinneIoCanada isn't such a bad locale. For me to poop on!

He's a veteran blogger and fearsome player. A friendly Twins fan, who knew?

A Really Big Fish
I present you some actual poker from A Really Big Fish. If you get tired of all of my touchy/feely/lovey poker, this should provide a nice antidote. Serious poker, but excellently written, so that we can all enjoy, and yet still be entertained. I may have to try that one.

DrawFlush
High Stakes Blog
Here are two relatively new blogs. DrawFlush started blogging just recently, but is writing like a kid with a new box of crayons. Meanwhile, High Stakes Blog has been around for a while, but has recently dared to post about poker. Welcome to a One-Way street. Poker is now your master, no longer your mistress.

Come on. You know you have been "thinking" about starting a blog. It need not be about poker, god knows we have plenty of those. But there's always room for more in this New Order. (Yes, I do mean the 80's band.)

Think about this: we all "just started blogging" one day. And have been creating something out of nothing ever since.

Ask any blogger. It's like TiVo or an iPhone, you don't quite get how awesome it is until you are IN it. So make that leap.

And if that's STILL not enough....

BBT4 is here! (started 2 days ago actually...)

Now, I have your interest...

I Have a Boy Crush on Google

2009-02-25T21:39:00.009-06:00

For me, an occasional trip to Google is what most people experience from an occasional trip to Sharper Image. Yes, I'm a total geek. By the way, Google Chrome is quickly becoming my only browser. OMG Ponies!!!!!!

Now, they have an installer, Google Pack. It's officially in Labs, which is sort of means pre-release/"beta", but their betas are better than ~~many~~ most finished software. Anyways, it gives you a list of about a dozen popular Google Apps, a few popular non-Google apps, and takes over downloading & installing & updating & maintaining & uninstalling them. By giving you a pretty menu instead.

Look, how pretty, it even includes Adobe Reader (not even their software). Check it out, and while you're there, look at all the things Google enables you to do / play with / economize / collect / create. For free. Here, please take it. Enjoy. For FREE.

Here's the Main page with all their stuff (I recommend starting with Pack and adding anything it didn't include). Don't forget the Labs page.

I'm off to play with Google Sites now, to create a webpage. I think it's time I grew up and bought a domain and a residence on the www.interweb. Can somebody please fax me an application?

*******

EDIT:

Not 5 minutes after I post, I'm off to read the news whilst I donk around the 4K.

Google Geniuses at Work on Free Goodies

A bit on-the-nose, especially for them to put this up so soon after my post, but whatever. I'm sure they'll claim it's a coincidence. :P

Zen: Mind

2009-02-21T19:02:00.005-06:00

One of the most fundamental tenets of Zen is that life is meant to be experienced moment-to-moment. Some aspects of this are probably not new. ("Live every week like it's Shark Week!" -- Tracy Jordan). So let's move beyond the basic level, the level of "Enjoy your life!". What am I really talking about?

1. Time is Indistinguishable to Mind

Think about your mind for a minute, and the images you see:

1. As you walk through your world every day
2. As you remember what happened yesterday
3. As you imagine what might happen in the future

Think about the quality of the images, the content, and how they might appear differently to your brain/mind/mindgrapes. Is there any difference at all? Or are they indistinguishable? Or are they are the same? Do you only know the difference because other parts of the brain provide context? Is your mind is time-agnostic?

Current view =(is the same as) Halloween as a kid = Me as homeless bum = Me as Pro Hockey Player! = Me walking down the hall = Me not walking down the hall

Do you feel happy thinking of a past relationship? Do you feel excitement thinking about winning a poker tournament? In both cases, you would experience real feelings now, based on something that doesn't actually exist. I just thought about my first girlfriend, and I feel very warm, nostalgic, blissful. But she isn't here, in fact nothing happened at all, except "I" steered my Mind's thought patterns. And yet I feel my body chemistry change to reflect that feeling.

The big question: If your mind can't distinguish between past, present, future/never happened, do you trust your mind to make choices for you? Is it possible you (as your Mind) have made choices because of some imagined, generated feeling? Because of some false memory?

2. Your Mind IS The Past

What parts of your Mind are based in the present? Zero. It's impossible to think about the present, because you can only think about things selected from your memories. Which are by definition, in the past.

When you "think about the future", you are really thinking about "some re-imagining of the past". Your brain can "invent new scenarios", but you'll find that they're still an altered version of some combination of past experiences. You are pretending to be in some recombination of your past (even if you change ALL the facts), instead of existing, now, in your present.

Go ahead, take a second, and think of something new. Not random (i.e. A flour-covered lion on a bicycle), but truly new. Personally, I'm playing along, and I'm finding it to be very significant to truly have a new thought.

Still thinking...("A coffee-warmer that tells time!")

Okay, so I'm unable to do it this time on command. I certainly think that new, creative things come from people, but true moments of inspiration are currently rare, because most people cannot distinguish them from the other crap that our minds try ("Duck-flavored ice cream!") to pretend ("A man with red STOP sign pants!") is "new".

In Zen terms:

Creation comes from Source, and flows through you. Anything that comes from your mind is just a recombination of the past, based on your life experiences (aka 'programming').

3. Forming an Alliance With Your Mind

I'm going to take a minute and explain what this whole "Mind" thing is. It's the part of your brain that's in charge of your body. Everything in your brain that's not "you", in whatever form that may take. "Soul", "consciousness", "will", whatever that might be, your Mind is the rest.

So, when you read me talking about Zen, it may seem like often it's "Zen = GOOD, Mind = BAD". This is for a specific reason. Unconsciousness IS letting your Mind run your life. So when I'm saying "Mind is like X,Y,Z", I'm pointing this out to add it to your awareness. Once it's in your awareness, you can choose whether or not to let your Mind continue to control that. Or, more likely, realize that YOU CHOOSE to control that instead.

A personal example:

When I think "I already know this" when reading or hearing something, I first think about what my Mind is doing. It's telling me that any memories I have are sufficient for this situation, and that my Mind would prefer to think about something else.

For me, revelations like this can be pinholes, letting in light, allowing me to make my new choice. Now, if I "already know" something, I check in to see if that's really true. Sometimes it is "yes", because I have this information already. But sometimes it's "no", and the reasons continue to surprise me:

it's too much work,
it's too hard,
it doesn't agree with my worldview,
it sounds lame,
it's later so I can just forget it now,
etc.

Notice that none of these "reasons" have anything to do with (in this case) "already knowing the material". But I let my Mind answer the question, and when it did that, it based its answer on a separate list of criteria. Such as the list above and thousands of others.

So, the difference is, now:
- when I "already know something", it's because I truly already know it.
- when my Mind "already knows something", I recognize that it could actually telling me anything (even as simple as "I have to pee, so I don't need to be here for this part of class").

Awareness and clarity are recongnizing this. Being present means checking in ("do I know this?") and hearing the specific answer ("I have to pee"), and CHOOSING, not letting your mind decide because it ran down some arbitrary list.

You create your life, you choose your destiny, you are the will that runs the body you currently inhabit. Love this, cherish this, respect this. YOU be your life, don't delegate it to your mind.

Getting back to "Forming an Alliance". Yes, it seems that Mind does a lot of bad stuff, but that's only because we let it. And on the flipside, we require our minds to live, to breathe, to communicate, to evolve, to be conscious in the first place.

So, in true Zen fashion:

Love your Mind. Forgive your Mind. And find how you can team up with your Mind to help you live your highest choices each day. Because obviously some of the things it does for you are great, like breathing and pumping your blood. It's ironically our human, societal experience that both enriches and sculpts our minds over time, such that most people today find themselves stuck in their own heads, persistently, indefinitely. It's the very process of learning that teaches our mind to "shut off" to other ideas, because we teach it exclusion.

As you become aware of the multitudes of ways in which your Mind used to run your life, you might experience some anger, some regret, some sadness. That's good, feel it, use it. Empower yourself with it to increase your awareness and clarity.

Then remember to forgive your Mind. It was only running that particular part of the show because you told it to.

In the past, you used to delegate some or all of your life to your Mind, letting it make some or all of the choices in a given circumstance. Living moment-to-moment? That's your new choice. To always be present and aware in your life, to live each moment as new.

A High Quality Site

2009-02-17T20:00:00.005-06:00

New software update today! Sometimes, I allow myself to dream that the software update will actually make my poker software better. Better how? I'm glad you asked. Better like this premier, online poker site.

It's the best online gaming software I've used, hands down.

It's pretty.

It's intelligent.

It's very helpful.

It's REALLY pretty. But don't take my word for it:

I only play the nuts in Omaha H/L. Here I will obviously raise ;)

Now that I won a pot I fold to keep my big stack. I love the display on the left that updates my current hand, even after I've folded.

Blackjack. Beautiful, elegant software. If only it served drinks at 4am and 9:30am, I wouldn't have to leave the house.

I even crush the video slot machine in 5 minutes, running my 100 credits up to 235.

The whole experience is pleasant, and intuitive. For instance, for all you 2-card poker junkies, of course they have texas holdem. For "variety dogs" like me, they have Stud, Omaha, and many different tourney formats. Including one I've never seen, where half the table doubles up off the other half. The "ultimate" satellite, paying 2x to 5 people.

Many deposit methods are available, including Neteller. The deposit bonus is 100% up to $400, and given as 25% instant and the remaining 75% over time. 25% instant deposit is easily the best I've seen, and it means on a deposit of $400 you get $500 cash immediately. And, then you get to earn your remaining $300 bonus over time.

US Customers are currently not allowed, although check out 888poker.net for the free version. You'll have a lot of fun, and Obama will sort out this online poker mess soon.

Expect the best from your online gaming experience. Demand the best. Maybe it's a bit early to call it, but this is the best I've found so far.

A Good Post For Balance

2009-02-16T01:54:00.003-06:00

I think the past few days have really shown the profitablility of HORSE tournaments. If you can be the guy who always has the cards, always goes out on the suckout/bad beat, you'll end up with a lot of chips, a lot of the time. Sometimes, it goes wrong, so....so wrong.

Here a 4th place of 223, and I never really had a stack to work with. A raunchy beginning in Omaha, and not until I spiked 222 in Stud 8 did I have 3K. All in at least 6 times tonight. But steadfast, pushed when I had to.

The final table had 2 tiers of chips, 3 with 100K and 3 with 30K. So I finished at the top of my weight class, and took a decent shot to double and join the big stacks. Excellent tourney.

A couple more 4K wins, and I'll have the bankroll to buy that Sunday HORSE directly. The donkys can have their satellites :)

Why You Won't See Me in Sunday HORSE

2009-02-15T16:52:00.004-06:00

Completely obviously on tilt, 0maxpower0 raises UTG for the 4th hand in a row, desperate to give away the last 800 of his chips. He previously bet 2458 no-pair into a AAKTQ flop on the river (the AT full house called, of course).

4 bets every street, after I flop 2p. I mean I have to have him crushed, even if he has AA.

4 bets on the turn.

12 chips left on the river.

All in 4 bets on the flop. Better yet, the KT gets to the flop by OVERCALLING my 3-bet preflop. Then, I'm all in way ahead. Crushed immediately on the turn. Insulted on the river.

The Tribricka is 1 part pain, 2 parts sadness. So many clean outs to scoop, dozens to chop.

All in on the flop for the big pot in the middle, dominating for high and hoping to fade low.

Crushed on the turn.

Resupercrushed on the river.

Not shown here: the other 127 screenshots. I think you've already got the idea.

Please, sir, can I have some more?

5K, 4K and Cash Results, In 3 Easy Screenshots

2009-02-15T01:03:00.004-06:00

Go Out In Style

2009-02-13T22:59:00.003-06:00

Preppin' for the Sunday HORSE!

Geek Post

2009-02-13T20:58:00.003-06:00

Events from days past:

I bought myself an XBox 360 to celebrate my 4K win. I really subscribe to the "reward yourself" school of thought. On a much greater level, actually, than you might first suspect. Anyways, I was going to spend $99 to stream Netflix to my TV, so why not just make it $199? Okay, so of course I bought the Elite version ($299), and $100 for the Wireless Adapter and $20 for the Universal Remote. Shipped, $440. Ordered Saturday night, arrived Wednesday afternoon. Yes (gasp!), I skipped the 4K and the Mookie to play with my toy.

So, then I download the updates. It's very slick, very well put together, at least intially. I downloaded the Netflix app. I started it up, it asked me to login to my Netflix account and enter a 6-letter code. So, I put down the controller, pick up my iPhone, and do that. 45 seconds later, I pushed Submit, and almost instantly I'm was looking at a cascade of movie posters. Not just any movie posters, but all of the movies in my queue that were available for Instant Play. Nice touch. Sometimes software just gets it right. And, as much as people rip Microsoft, they're pioneers. They established countless conventions, and put code in Windows 95 (GASP!) that was years ahead of it's time. So the menus and software updating are awesome. Of course, maybe I'm just stunted, TiVo being the only good software I've used in this context. Next stop, linking my entire music and video library in (wirelessly of course), to be watched on my TV in the living room.

Okay that's all for now. I made a new commitment about playing tourneys, involving me actually watching the tourneys as they happen, not just checking in every action. And I intend to keep it.

Okay, one more thing: you know how I've been saying MY name should be colored in the Full Tilt software, to make it easy to find. Well, guess whose names are colored? Full Tilt Pros. Guess where it sorts the Full Tilt Pros (with their red names). That's right, at the top. So, I found my solution.

I am a Full Tilt Pro. Now, that I am a Full Tilt Pro, I can always find my name easily. My name is highlighted in red. My name sorts to the top of the list.

Calling All Poker Bloggers

2009-02-12T21:26:00.003-06:00

I recently found a new poker blog, because a reader literally emailed me to show it to me. Two things occur to me:

1) There might be other readers, already blogging, or wondering how to get started.
2) There might be pure readers, who would love to come join the fun only a bloggament brings. And by fun, I mean...well, you'll see.

First, the new blog, A Really Big Fish. Good, light, entertaining content, dating back to last fall and updated very regularly.

Here's what I can do for the rest of you:

1) Extend an open invitation. Email me and show me your stuff. Or ask me questions about getting started. Or whatever.
2) Blogger schedule here, at Columbo's blog, about one page down in the right sidebar. The coveted Mookie, the Donkament $1 Rebuy on Fridays, "Skillz", it's all there.
2a) Also, there are sometimes tourneys on Bodog. I haven't been following, but you can check with...wait for it...
3) BUDDY DANK RADIO! Fun times, cool azz people. The best part about bloggaments, when you can catch the show.

So come one, come all. This offer may not be repeated! Your mileage may vary.

Another Homestyle 4K HORSE Tourney

2009-02-07T15:57:00.003-06:00

We pick it up late in the tourney. I was 3rd with about 100 left, on some big Omaha hands and a LOT of patience.

Look at the hand FNSDirector is playing, EP in Omaha H/L. That hand is horrible! And, yet, he's one of the best players in this tourney. And, as a bit of foreshadowing, my heads-up opponent...One of the beauties of HORSE is that most people suck at one or more of the games. Being good at all of them is the only way to get home regularly.

So now, we're down to a few tables, and I have a premium hand with 1 customer.

Devastating. He quickly checks, but I know better than to bet. Let's see if I catch an A on 5.

Ugh. I quickly check this player's rep: competent. Uh oh, looks like definite trips. So IGNORE that I improved, this is the kind of fold required to stay alive.

My mouth is watering. What a great place in Stud 8 to complete and see 4th here.

My low is pretty sweet, and I'm freerolling to 5s for a wheel. I continue to put pressure on, betting into the "monster" xxT who completed 3rd.

Okay, so freerolling with WAY more outs. Half will be enough, this time.

Another great starting hand. ElDiablo's range from the CO is huge, so easy reraise.

I bet 4th and he calls, I bet 5th and he calls. What now, when he checks to me again?

The crucial moment of this hand. I bet 5th, even though I bricked. I had reraised on 3rd. Now, I take my time, and trust my read. He checks (weak), I take a long time to consider how to play my 22. I finally bet, and he folds. Representing all that strength gets me a big scoop, where I was really hoping to find half.

Timing is SO important in poker. With so little information online, people read into timing as one of their only clues. Some do it consciously, everyone does it subconsciously. Use it, like you use all the tools in your arsenal to win.

Also, this is example #1 of what you can do if you slow down, and consider ALL options. Consider how to play a hand in all the ways, then trust your reads and your intuition.

Here, I defend my blind with a decent hand, then go all in on a flop with decent potential vs. a shortie. 3 on the turn and I'm all done here.

Again all-in, this time I hit the flop, he hits it hard too. I back into a low, which keeps me alive.

Here I try to help get the all-in guy. Both of the other players flop a flush, I turn a set. Disasterous, but the pot stays small because of the all-in. These kinds of pots are great low-risk situations to find as tourneys progress. Most people don't like betting at side pots, use that to your advantage. You can call a raise lighter, call a bet on the flop to see if they're going to bet out again (99% of those bets meaning strength). And when you win, all the players will be happy you limped with trash to eliminate someone, so it's win-win-win.

Our table is tight. People are only playing big cards, and this player has taken advantage, raising and taking down several unwanted pots. I've had nothing to defend with the last 2 bbs, this time I have a decent hand. Gotta jam back, and please hold up.

2244 caught with his pants down. I scoop and double up.

About playing short in Limit: DON'T DO THIS! Over and over you've heard about pushing before you're short, making sure to jam and get those pot odds up while you still have a stack. This is wrong, especially in the Stud/Razz games. There IS NO WAY to push up the pot odds. Watch a pro with a short stack. They will nurse and wait as long as possible before shoving. 13 chips can get you back in the tourney.

Back to this hand. Look at the pot, and the chipstacks coming into 4th street. I reraised him on 3rd. Now, I think for a bit, then bet 4th. And for whatever reason, he decides that despite being busted on 3rd for raising trash, and despite me hitting better on 4th, he's going to raise my bet and go all in.

Now stop. Look at it from my side, but for him. If he can fold on 4th, he still has 9000 chips! That's a truckload, even at this point. One double up with actual cards and he has 25K again. Instead, he checks out. And he loses because of it.

Assessing the final table, I like it a lot. A bunch of chips are in loose hands, and I have a bunch to work with. I have been atop the leaderboard for much of the tourney, and this is the reward. A big stack and a chance to go win this thing. Keep an eye on the chipcounts as we go.

Great shape against a chipleader who plays WAY TOO MANY hands. WAY too many.

Ack. Fold! 8000 is the bet, and I am in a deep hole if I call. Players who chase this are checking out.

Pivotal hand. I've been card dead for most of the final table, and snuffed on my two good razz hands. Now, maybe he has AA, but with JJQ and 5 live outs, it's time to take that chance.

Now if he raises and the K comes along, I'm out. Immediately. But since the K folds, I reraise and hope for the best.

Sweet fancy moses, he has AA and my 3-pair wins! Now I have chips to work with, and it's all good now.

A bit aggressive, but staring at a raised A should scare everyone out, in both Stud Hi and Stud H/L at this point. Aces doesn't know that, and calls to chase a low.

Check/fold. It's never a good time to get freerolled, especially not now. And what if he has 2 pair instead of a low? This is disastrous, and an easy fold.

What a great hand, as the bring-in. In a cash game I usually limp-reraise, calling occasionally for disguise, The tourney circumstances dictate just calling here, so I do.

SCOOOOOP! A pretty card on 4th, and by 5th I'm freerolling. What a great time to go all-in! Instantly rewarded with the 7 on 6th, and now I am in 2nd place. To an increasingly ridiculous stack for FNS.

Here I really hope to take it down now, representing a freeroll. Or, isolate against the short stack. Neither happens.

He hits a great card, and I brick a K. I decline to pay 12000 to draw at the low half of the pot (28000). Easy, correct decision that most players wouldn't make.

Gotta raise with an A and a stack here. ElDiablo might be thinking about folding into 4th, and I choose to help him.

Well, resistance is met, and now we find out if A high is good.

Okay, once again, my opponent checks out here. He checks to me, and I think, then bet. He shoves for 1/2 bet more with K high, and I take it down.

1. He makes a call to check the flop. This must be so he can get away if necessary.
2. He declines to bet the flop, in the hopes that I fold. So he checks the flop. He is conceding the hand, I guess.
3. I think (again, maybe the 3 seconds confuses them?) and bet my A-high which I figure is likely good.
4. NOW he shoves. "For value". Actually, for "Fawk it." Checking out. Thanks, good game.

The standings. My thoughts? "How can I both eliminate the other players while denting that big stack?" Play to WIN. I already risked going out 10th and 9th tonight, after going out 9th the previous night. I'm not going to concede 1st and play for 2nd.

Easy peasy. I raised from the SB, he called and when we both hit the flop all the money went in. I hold up.

Down to 2 after this hand. I had a weird feeling that I was folding a winner, and I did folding 96xx. But it gets me heads up, which is maybe the best result possible here. $1000 and freerolling for $500 more.

Stopping to assess here, he has a commanding chiplead. But wait a minute, what are those limits at? 10000/20000? If I can win one hand, won't we be about even? And isn't this the guy who limps 4h5h6h7c in early position?

(cue shark music)
duh-nuh

duh-nuh duh-nuh

duh-nuh duh-nuh duh-nuh duh-nuh

At this point, it's one glorious blur. The vodka is kicking in, I'm dancing with my headphones on, and mashing the raise button because I keep getting great hands.

The last key hand of the night. I pushed back because of the strength of my hand. Also, to misrepresent, since with these low cards I really would rather see a flop first.

I bet the flop. Then, I bet the turn. The preflop 3-bet is the entire key to this hand. If I just call, he has all the power, tempo, and position. I would have no leverage to push him off anything.

After the most PERFECT turn card ever, he rivers the boat to stay alive. Oh well, delaying the inevitable now.

Poker is a sport, and just like in other sports, there can be definite momentum. At this point, he should be doing anything he can to shift it. Because right now I'm playing downhill at him, and he's just reacting by pushing buttons quickly. If he takes 30 seconds here or there, or off the time bank even, he can settle things down and make a stand again. Because right now, resistance is futile.

He's checked out. He's ready to take his stand now, although he chooses poorly. If you have to take a stand, take a stand by folding until you get something, then push hard.

Here, he just gives me most of his stack, calling 3 bets. It's over next hand.

*********

Other results:

He cold calls for 600 with this hand. I make it 900, 4 callers. Then FT rewards him, extra because the case A hits and I pay him off now.

I busted the aggro-donk with her AA here. All in on the flop.

IGH soon after this. Such is the play in these HORSE tourneys. I'm what, 80% to have 8000, and a commanding chiplead? Not this time.

Tonight, however (duh-nuh) come join me for this great tourney at 22:15, $26 or a token, as NumbBono and NYRambler and PirateLawyer sometimes do.

Or will you all let me rule unopposed?

"Tribricka", and Other Screenshots Worth An Average of 1285.3 Words

2009-02-01T14:37:00.015-06:00

Poker results have been mixed lately. But there is something much larger happening in my life right now, larger than just poker. It's very personal, and very enlightening. More on that soon.

He's all in and drawing dead on the turn. Sometimes a great start is just handed to me.

A great example of a pretty hand that is nothing but trouble. Look at how much I want to like this flop, but I can't. The ironic river is below.

I would get there in the most interesting way I can think of. I mean no one has a 2?

Here is something I've been doing more, in the spirit of winning every bet. I made an 8 on 6th, but he probably just picked up a 9-draw. So, drawing dead. I think for a bit, then check like I paired, hoping to get a call on 7th. I did, thanks to his "good' river card.

Always be aware of stealing opportunities. Even better, really fun stealing opportunities.

Definitive "hero call". I value bet, he calls 100 hoping AKQ-high is good for half, which is 670. I raised 3rd and bet every street. Does he have the "pot odds" or just the "iron mallet"?

A suckout by me for a change. Token farming continues...

They accidentally gave me a 5 on the turn, so the river A didn't accomplish it's original mission. Presto!

Standard these days. This time, I suspect he might be full, but I need to (1) know if he has quads (2) slow him down, so I 3-bet here.

We get to the river cheap, and his (TT)555 holds. 3rd guy had an awesome flush draw.

Looks like he rivered the wheel here, I guess quads good for half again...

Wow. I mean, wow. Thanks for the gift, I always receive my gifts gratefully.

Nothing is sacred in Stud 8. Not even rolled-up hands, the ultimate meal-ticket in Stud Hi. Here, I have the glorious honor of (correctly) folding on 5th street.

Another rolled-up gem, this time I fold it on 3rd. ;)

Remember that AA23 hand? This is the other end of that tournament.

Here, he's desparately shoving his T874 all in on 4th. I've got him crushed, which means certain doom for me, in the form of a QJp (p = pair) "triple-brick-a" or "tribricka". This 3-card-sequence-of-doom, seen here and especially in Stud 8, needs a name. I just named it. "Tribricka."

Very next hand, I'm all-in for the last 3 bets on 3rd. 742 + "standard" > 642.

And then, there's the rest of them. Starting here. QKp tribricka.

He filled the gutter on the river, evidenced by the instacheckboxraise. Mine is more often a scooping hand itself, rarely scooped as it is here.

He has (45)6 here, a good hand. But a raise on 3rd, then a bet with AA on 4th into his 4566 won't budge him. I check it down and he lets me, and takes it with 666.

How many outs can I fade here? The sacred T9J "Tribricka".

The competition. Seriously, worth it's own screenshot.

Here, I have A45678 on 6th, a genuine scooping hand. I get a 9 on 7th, and I think it's insurance. Instead, somehow I'm wakakaakg-agag--QUARTERED?!?!?!

All in to salvage, and it gets there for half, right before the recess, and I have 871 chips and 5 minutes to think about them.

Out in Omaha soon after. Suited 27 with an A2, beats AQQ with an A3 this time.

In the spirit of recent upgrades, I am showing now the two tokens I won. One you saw earlier, the other is below.

I am a very good poker player. I win at poker. I receive my abundant poker money.

Bankroll watch: $2600. Did eclipse the $3000 mark earlier, doubling from the previous $1500. So, currently $2600. Next double milestone, $6000. Early February.

******

LATE UPDATE: Sunday HORSE not in the cards: (lots of hands like this final one)

I Desired It The Most

2009-01-25T16:57:00.004-06:00

Every time you sit down to play poker, you can choose one of two options.

1. Take what the cards give you, and have that be the main factor in determining your results.
2. Milk the cards, squeeze the cards, caress the cards. Do whatever you can, shoot any angle, open up your entire playbook to create winning situations for yourself.

Today, and really, the past few weeks, have been all about #2 for me. What about you?

Results will vary, but you know what, they always will. So put that aside for a minute.

You know exactly how much #1 and #2 you've played. You know, and only you really know, but you KNOW. So, when you aren't doing #2, I invite you to ask yourself one question. Why?

Please refrain from offering excuses, justifications, villainizations, or anything of the sort. Sure, suckouts happen, bad beats happen. Short-term and long-term variance happen.

I take it from your silence that you don't a "reason" yet. Take your time. We can come back to it.

*********

Following is a quick chronology of the final table, and one hand discussed in particular. I don't have any screenshots before that, I'm not sure I ever had over 3000 chips until the first hand below.

Called a raise in the SB with A2, and it just got better. The 7000 I collect makes my stack size, oh, 8500. Huge hand, taking me from the "12th of 14" neighboorhood where I had been hanging around, and gave me some real walking-around money to work with.

I successfully navigated razz, up to 4th place now. Here, we see me move up the ladder as K high outdraws rolled 4s. 444 will show up again later.

Here I got busted trying to "presteal" the antes. If the J folds, and he was a solid/tighter player, I get a lot of chips for free. And the bring-in on our left, which would consider doubting the J raise, will never doubt me. (Coupon good once a tourney, usually). Anyways, after raising, I pair my door card, and he decides to shove all in anyways. Simultaneous-resuck-reresuck on 7.

Here, I ship 2/3 of my stack. After the previous shenanigans, I get KQK and raise like before. This time he has wired TT and reraises, and I 3-bet to tell him, "no, I actually have it this time." He doesn't believe me, or whatever, which is fine on his part.

Then I bet 4th (call). Then I get a T on 5, and bet again. Now here's where he gets optimistic, and stubborn. He thinks for a long time, then chooses to risk his tournament chasing this hand down.

Well, here's the catch. When he catches on 6, he has to check, because he knows I have something. I check behind. On the river, value-betting TT33 is again -EV, because you won't get a lot of calls behind, compared to calls ahead and raises ahead. He does check, and takes the pot.

So, he made the wrong read, but got lucky. Even so, he couldn't get paid. A T was his money card, and folding is not just about who has the best hand or who can outdraw the other. It also matters who gets paid.

If you need to catch a pair in Stud to pull ahead, consider this. If your pair ends up showing (33 here), then you are OOP for the rest of the hand. And everyone knows it's there, so they have a great idea where they stand.

Here, I'm predicting my own future. That comment in the chatbox is actually referencing the previous hand, where I started AA3 as the bring-in, and ended up making AA33559 and chopping with 87632QK.

Yet even as I utter it, I'm all in on 5th against this guy's wired AA. Well, so much for AA...

Okay, I meant two hands to discuss. Here, I just call the raise as bring-in, and then raise the perfect 4th street. One thing about split games is that they have freerolls. There is no insurance policy for your tournament life as reliable as a freeroll. I'm not there yet, but I basically have to catch perfect-wrong (KT9, for instance) to get scooped here.

(Chat update: Yes, the last hand I chopped, freerolling as well. I had a low on 6, and bet 7th as well. He did call and win high with AKQ-high vs my AK-and-low. Ah well. 4000 chips, I'm sure he had "pot odds". )

Fast-forward to the river. I hit 7 good cards, and despite what he "can" make, it's very important for us to value bet here. We cannot check just because both of our hands are vulnerable. It's just too hard for him to have us beat BOTH ways. Having a both-way hand on the river is almost always worth a bet, unless you suspect real trouble. Here he raised a 9 on 3rd, so I'm not too worried. Please scoop, please....

SCOOP. Look at how big that bet is, now we're at 60/40/19 instead of 56/40/23. So big, in terms of plays we can make against 2nd AND 3rd place. And we made it with almost zero fear, because 97% of the time at least half will come back. Split games are won by scooping pots. Chops just pay the bills in-between.

Last hand. I had a good time playing heads up, considering I did all the work to take out 3rd place. Starting 4:1, the outcome was never in doubt, at least in my mind. And despite the loose calls earlier in Stud, I can also say that the 2nd-best player at the table got 2nd.

All is warm and fuzzy with my world.

Just....Too......Good

2009-01-24T22:51:00.001-06:00

See you all tomorrow night!

13 Chips to 13th Place

2009-01-23T00:48:00.008-06:00

EPIC. After this hand, I had FOUR chips and a chair, and only THREE of them were 1's.

With less than half the ante (13 of 30), a big scoop nets me (read it with me) 91 chips. WHEE!!!!

Up to 196! I will not be denied!

Now, 2 bets becomes 6. Now, you're all in REALLY BIG TROUBLE.

Look at what I can do!

It was a wild ride. Hollywood would pick 1st place for my ending. Today destiny picked 13th.

*********

One more treat for you, as the student shows what he's learned (from the master on his right):

"Hero Calls"

2009-01-21T14:24:00.004-06:00

I raised 3rd with (7A) 6.
Donkey makes the hero call to defend his 2Q4.

I bet 4th after getting a suited 4. Now I have 764A with 3 hearts.
Donkey makes the hero call to chase his 2Q48.

I'm all in for the last 400 on 5th.
Donkey has 22 now, so he obviously instacalls.

I get taken out by the guy who hasn't cashed a tourney since early November. Such is the $20 HORSE donkfest.

Resistance Is Futile

2009-01-21T01:02:00.007-06:00

Flop goes check, check, check, check. Turn, I "think" for a bit before betting, and they all fold. Hmmmmmmmm...

3 1/2 bets, playing 5-handed, and I have 33. Raise, BB wakes up with aces. Okay, fine.

See you tomorrow!

All The Way To Heads Up

2009-01-20T16:33:00.003-06:00

Cruising, and with a great hidden hand. His full bring-in advertises a wired pair, so unless it's KK or AA I'm golden.

And then I get donked by the case 9 on 6. Wired Qs again come up short.

Whatever. 2nd happens. I'll get my 1st place tonight.

17th Will Do On "Massive Cooler Night"

2009-01-20T00:48:00.006-06:00

Took the weekend off. Picked right up where I left off.

Got a chance for that 129th T-shirt and a $24 bounty from Diego Cordovez. He plays this tourney many nights per week, and I respect that. Two magic wheel cards and it goes by the wayside. Ah well, moving on.

Meanwhile, in the cash game...He says "TILT!" to TELL me he's rolled up. Now I can make the maximal raises to get the most money from the chasing A. And I scoop.

Back to the 4K. After some well played hands, and a gift from a "push-and-pray with K in razz", I'm right where I belong.

This hand was brutal, as we all get all-in. The top player has wired AA, and makes AA2233J. I catch a dreamy 5 on 6th, and an all-purpose 9 on the river. The player on the right has rolled TTT, which scoops unimproved. 18K is now 4K, and I'm on the outside looking in for the money.

After surviving the bubble, I finally got a hand to make a move with. Ace of clubs on 5th and it's all over.

I'll be back tomorrow. I would recommend sitting at someone else's table right now. I've found a new level to my game.

Oh, one more screenshot, of the redonkulous variety. I had A2356 suited on 5th. He started on 3rd with a Q. All he needs is a perfect 6 AND a perfect 7. Skillz.

Instant Bankroll

2009-01-16T23:36:00.005-06:00

Ok, answer honestly. How many knew that this was coming up next (previous post)?

My recent scores and cash play had gotten my BR over $800, and while I'm not playing $75 tourneys every day, I think one $75 double-stack HOSE tourney is definitely worth squeezing into. I was willing to risk my cash profits today on it.

Now, it's a whole new game. Bankroll watch: $1500+ and growing geometrically.

2 last things. One, I'm bankrolled for the $75 DS HORSE tomorrow night (booooooo razz!). Two, notice that I'm actually giving these bankroll considerations their due process.

Just getting started...

Back-to-Back Brilliance and IGH in 14th

2009-01-16T00:52:00.004-06:00

It's Stud H/L, you have 6700 chips, and

(XX) As 7s

has bet 2000 into you. Do you,

A. Shove 2369, by raising to 4000
B. Are you kidding? There's no B. You think HE considered a B?

It's Stud H/L still. You limped 27K all spades, caught another K, but the 9 paired his door card. Do you...nevermind.

They both suck equally for me, although the 2nd was wasn't as heinous, since I was crippled from the first one, and he had 100K and was running like god. I played very well, very tough and consistent. I made bets simply because I knew people couldn't call, and check/folded when I knew they couldn't fold to a bluff.

16th last night, 1st-ish today, 14th tonight. I think we all know what's coming up next.

Mandatory Post

2009-01-15T19:52:00.001-06:00

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
- Bertrand Russell

Small Stakes, Start Saying Goodbye to Emptyman

2009-01-15T16:49:00.008-06:00

My focus is narrow and pure. Get the EFF out of this swamp, where people can play 80% of the hands in a tourney and still make the final table. Where any 8 makes a good low Stud hand, where any A makes a raising Omaha 8 hand.

Yesterday:

More please! It's my first Matrix, and boy was it fun. And, I must add, completely biased towards players like me. I can and do play 4 tables at once anyways, but in that context I'm marginalizing myself, because they are free to play only one table. When we all have to 4-table, I have such a huge advantage. If only I could play these more often.

Today:

First thing to mention: I actually cut a deal. I had him all-in in Stud 8 a couple of times, but he hit the river both times, and all of a sudden we're looking at HE and he has a slight chip lead. So, I took the deal he offered, and took the win at -$10, since he was now actually ahead by 10K.

Highlights:

Cooler. I actually had checkraised him 2 hands ago when I hit the gutshot nut-straight, so I bet this really steamed him. I would have been throwing things :) We need a word in the poker lexicon for being the beneficiary of a cooler. Heater is taken, so what is this? Tommy A, any suggestions?

Better and better and better.

Big big big hand. arubart was a new player, as evidenced by his full bring-in with (xx)K 2 hands previous. So, on 5, I bet my "8", and he raises his "T". I've seen him raise guaranteed-behind earlier in tourney, so I made the required 3-bet. Then when we both pair 6th, I bet again, and he thought for a long long time, and called. 7th brings the dreaded 3-pair, and I just fire anyways. He thinks while I pray, and then says he folded 222. Which beats 3-pair, unless he filled up.

I think the 3-bet on 5th is the only way I win this hand. If I back down for a second, he calls any 6 and 7. I have to CONVINCE him I have an 8 (check the chatbox), so he'll fold a T or J or Q on the river. He does, and I survive.

Now rolling. 55K to 20K to 6K. So I can play them against each other. Then, I get down to heads up, and this hand to scoop a big pot and give me the huge lead.

As pretty as Stud 8 hands come. 8 on the river for bonus.

Some leaning by me, and 3 fortunate rivers by him, and we're finally all-in again.

Standard. Then, after I brick 3457 while he hits AA, I find myself trailing slightly. And completely deflated. So when he offered the deal I took it.

**********

To Review:

I upgraded notes on a couple of players today. Players who I previously had as purple/pink. (Some) people get better, and if you don't adjust your notes to allow for this you could be playing with bad information. In regards to that, though, don't let short-term results change much. And if you notice them making consistently better decisions, upgrade immediately.

You cannot hurry poker. These tourneys take EXACTLY as long as they take. You have one way to make it shorter, and that is to take yourself out of it. Someone once said there are 5 P's of Poker. I remember them as Patience, Patience, Patience, Pot Odds, and Patience. I doubt that's right...but still. If you happen to catch yourself BEFORE you make that "aw, fawk it" raise, and fold instead, you might be AMAZED at the results. It's a skill, don't kid yourself.

My bankroll is growing. I commit to redoubling my efforts to stay committed, focused, responsible, calm, and patient. And,

I win.

Sometimes a Read AND a Better Hand....

2009-01-15T00:27:00.006-06:00

This guy was awesome. Bragged about his 6th place finish in FTOPS razz. Earlier took a bunch of chips from me and another guy in a 3-way razz pot, 3-betting every street with (naturally) the 3rd best hand.

So, now I have him finally. Raising his crap and he's pot committed.

Obviously he's a razz player because that's the closest poker game to War that exists. Skill....screw that. And it showed all night.

So, of course, before there has even been time for the pixel light to hit my screen from my shove, it finishes his miracle wheel and IGH.

16th. Pays $56 for $26. Such is the life of a small-stakes poker player.

Staring Helplessly

2009-01-13T20:40:00.004-06:00

Hoy's even in it.

But in this new era of BR responsibility, focus, intensity, and committment, I have no choice but to pass.

BR: $564
Entry Fee: $75

Once I have the perma-bankroll, 20K or whatever, I can play this tourney EVERY SINGLE TIME. And with no fear, no care about the buyin. Free to play the best poker I know how.

I can say, with 90%+ confidence, that I would have signed up for and played this tourney in the past. Something like this:

"I can beat this field." (true)
"Better not...a bit too much for my BR, and Turbo..."
"Wait! Hoy's in it! Bonus! Gotta play now..."
"Well, I still really can't afford it. I mean the buyin puts me below 500 and I might have to go back to 1/2. Anything to stay out of that hole."
"But I can DO IT! I've done it before! And T$535 will buy my tourney entries for a week! And then the Satellite Challenge...."

And this, in the past, was where I stopped. I signed up, and played the tourney, and I promise you, the tourneys I've played in this situation are lifetime -EV. Without putting your finger on exactly "why", I bet you could easily have guessed that result.

So, today I added one new line. In fact, it's almost verbatim above:

"Once I have a permanent bankroll, I can play any tourney, any time."

See you in the ($26 buyin) $4K HORSE tourney!

Guesses?

2009-01-13T15:02:00.003-06:00

A hint: WAN has 87 right now.
Another hint: If I catch 2 bricks, and if WAN catches one of about 6 total outs, his 75 could conceivably beat my 76.

Boredom: My Biggest Poker Leak?

2009-01-12T17:28:00.006-06:00

Believe me, that thought didn't come easily or delicately. As always, let's go to the facts, or "reality" of the situation first. Like the opposite of how W tackles problems.

3rd place, 2 FT back-to-back, yada yada yada. I played very well, and for the most part, my hands held up. For the second consecutive night, I was finding myself ALL-IN 2-off-the-money, and this time I had to call down a pretend 8 with 2359x4x when he showed me xxA78 to start. He made 3 pair, never was ahead, and I cruised from there. I've been trusting my reads much more lately (raising, calling AND folding), more on that later. This read was obviously right on.

Tournament winners don't fold winning hands 2-off-the-money. 17th place finishers do.

Let's get back to the initial point, and my history in the 4K.

This back-to-back run is not unique, as regular readers know. I have been on some made streaks in the past, and am obviously in the middle/beginning of one now. But, it just occurs to me (DUH) that I stop winning after that. Why?

1. I stop committing to play as intensely. I become okay with donking out on a flier.
2. I stop playing it entirely. It's not a conscious thing, but I'm realizing that I've BEAT this thing. And with life, that's often a point when people can lose interest in something. Such as me with the 4K.
3. I stop caring about winning so much. Online poker is so short in feedback, and I'm a man of INSTANT GRATIFICATION. The fact that I can't even see a cent for WEEKS after a cashout had severely diminshed my excitement about playing a tournament on a given night. I mean, I almost had to psyche myself up to realize that the "score" of poker is money, and that when I get my huge high score, it comes with a cash prize.

** Possible remedy for #3:

Title Defense! It appears I finished first in my money class for the year! (HORSE/SHOE, middle buyins, middle of the page)
If I make a point of watching, and bragging about how awesome I am, it should help motivate me.

4. I was HORRIBLY freakishly maniacally irresponsible with my bankroll. (Using the past-tense on purpose here) I shipped money to friends. I sold it to buy stuff. I played tourneys/limits that were too expensive for my bankroll.

I hope to contend for the high-buyin class of HORSE tourneys, and maybe some others this year. But I'm not going to push until I have the BR.

Boredom is the enemy of bankroll discipline. This I know for sure.

***
LATE EDIT

Just reading an interview on Bluff:

"7. Manage your bankroll

If you’re going to play high stakes poker with flair and bravado (and we really think you should), bankroll management skills are key. Here’s how Sammy does it.

“With the style I play, I experience big swings. I had a bad run in December and you just have to slow down. I play a little bit smaller, get the confidence back, and build the bankroll a little bit. If I lose a big figure, I have to manage myself; change my strategy. I can’t gamble too much anymore. When they bet me a lot, I just stay a little bit more conservative. But that’s what’s good about my image. No one will notice I’m playing conservative. This goes for any stakes you’re playing at. If you want to do this for a living, bankroll management is everything. There’s a lot of emotion in poker, and you can’t go with your emotions. If you feel sad that you lost, you have to forget it. And fight back.” -- Sammy Farha

Ok, so it's not poetry. But even Random Sammy feels these things. Makes adjustments to his game based on his own mental state. Sometimes the mind and the body just won't be ignored. For the not-yet-enlightened, anyways.

It occurs to me that there are two options to handle this: fight it or flow with it. I bet you know which one I choose.

***

I am not bored tonight, I am motivated, focused, ready to pound this tourney again and again. This is the big aha for today. If I like money (I do), and if I am hugely favored to win this tourney every time I sit down to play it (I am, in this state of mind), why have I stopped playing in the past?

Boredom. Feeling done. Etcetera. Dumb, eh? I've been playing games my whole life, and I think I traditionally, and subconsciously revert to "fairness/handicap" mode. Whenever I play games for fun, I usually have 2 choices.

1. Probably win.
2. Fix the game/mechanics/my effort to make it fair for all participants.

I know this sounds like bragging, but it's just my objective observation. Humility aside, honesty is just as important (or moreso) for recognizing ability and greatness. I also know this will be useful for playing with my kids -- it was essential for me growing up. I just need to make an exception for poker.

Winner-take-all. No-holds-barred. Milk every cent, shoot every angle, cherish every last tournament chip (and entry). If there's dead money out there, it's my right, nay my RESPONSIBILITY to collect it. I owe it to Emptyman to build a bankroll and let him see how good he is. I owe my wife a trip, Hawaii or further. And it's all being presented to me on a silver platter. All I have to do is do it. Wow, that sounds EASY.

I commit to playing my best poker. All the time. Score = money. Jack Black is a genius. ("It was a big day, on JESUS RANCH!") I digress.

I commit to playing my best poker, now and continuously. Period.

*****

I am really excited about this topic, it's been a nagging Zen question for years, the nature of boredom/laziness, and I'm starting to see new light poking through here. Next Zen post, Empty.

Today So Far

2009-01-11T14:38:00.004-06:00

I actually started with the 7c6c, so I was drawing to 4567 and 4 clubs on 5th street. So, obviously this happens.

The crippling blow in today's $20 HORSE.

Wired AA, of course. And only the 11th or 12 straight-T or straight-9 or flush that I've been shown on the river today.

Everyone Eventually Gets Donked

2009-01-11T01:53:00.003-06:00

I could have tried to fold up the ladder to 4th or 3rd, but how often do I actually get here? And with some chips! And this player, just like the one on my left and the 8th place finisher, was FOS ALL NIGHT. QJ was in the top 20% of his range, and I can't lay down AK there. So the gods choose I get 5th.

Sigh.

No Comment 01

2009-01-10T14:18:00.002-06:00

Glutton for Punishment

2009-01-09T23:16:00.000-06:00

My $2 T-Shirt

2009-01-09T00:14:00.004-06:00

Donked a pro, so now freerolling.

What a MASSIVE cooler. 30th, pays 24.

I've developed a formula for calculating where I'll finish. Take the payout number (24), and add or subtract a random number between 1 and 10. Then take that number, and notice that it feels like shit to finish there after 3-4 hours, whether skunked (tonight) or cashing ($65.32 I think I'll buy a car!).

Someday, somehow...

Sometimes You Take a Shot...

2009-01-08T14:52:00.003-06:00

...and miss. 5 players, I tried to limp for 300, but the big stack raises, and then the BB 3-bets. I figure there are lots of As and low cards gone, and if I hit the flop I could scoop a monster and get right back in it. Instead the big stack's KKQ5 included 2 spades, so they raised junk and flopped the nuts, splitting with the 2357r on my right. You can tell they were doing that a lot.

8th pays 5. Sometimes, it seems, it's not up to me. The 2 earlier critical hands from the tourney:

Rolled 9's vs....yup!

Full Tilt Poker Game #9926342144: $20 + $2 Tournament (75339749), Table 4 - 200/400 Ante 30 - Limit Stud H/L - 15:18:12 ET - 2009/01/08
Seat 1: EmptyBR (6,434)
Seat 2: emptyman (5,873)
Seat 3: RajaPoker10 (3,385)
Seat 4: bigbabe4 (6,360)
Seat 5: backwind21 (3,052)
Seat 6: Sual1 (1,515)
Seat 8: GBTROT (5,088)
EmptyBR antes 30
emptyman antes 30
RajaPoker10 antes 30
bigbabe4 antes 30
backwind21 antes 30
Sual1 antes 30
GBTROT antes 30
*** 3RD STREET ***
Dealt to EmptyBR [Ah]
Dealt to emptyman [9h 9c] [9d]
Dealt to RajaPoker10 [7h]
Dealt to bigbabe4 [Tc]
Dealt to backwind21 [5d]
Dealt to Sual1 [Th]
Dealt to GBTROT [Qd]
backwind21 is low with [5d]
backwind21 brings in for 50
Sual1 folds
GBTROT has 15 seconds left to act
GBTROT folds
EmptyBR completes it to 200
emptyman calls 200
RajaPoker10 folds
bigbabe4 calls 200
backwind21 calls 150
*** 4TH STREET ***
Dealt to EmptyBR [Ah] [Kc]
Dealt to emptyman [9h 9c 9d] [4d]
Dealt to bigbabe4 [Tc] [6h]
Dealt to backwind21 [5d] [Jh]
EmptyBR checks
emptyman bets 200
bigbabe4 calls 200
backwind21 calls 200
EmptyBR folds
*** 5TH STREET ***
Dealt to emptyman [9h 9c 9d 4d] [3c]
Dealt to bigbabe4 [Tc 6h] [4c]
Dealt to backwind21 [5d Jh] [Qc]
backwind21 checks
emptyman bets 400
bigbabe4 raises to 800
backwind21 folds
emptyman raises to 1,200
bigbabe4 raises to 1,600
emptyman calls 400
*** 6TH STREET ***
Dealt to emptyman [9h 9c 9d 4d 3c] [Ac]
Dealt to bigbabe4 [Tc 6h 4c] [6s]
bigbabe4 bets 400
emptyman calls 400
*** 7TH STREET ***
Dealt to emptyman [9h 9c 9d 4d 3c Ac] [5s]
bigbabe4 bets 400
emptyman calls 400
*** SHOW DOWN ***
bigbabe4 shows [Ts Td Tc 6h 4c 6s 5c] a full house, Tens full of Sixes, for high
emptyman mucks
bigbabe4 wins the pot (6,410) with a full house, Tens full of Sixes
No low hand qualified
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 6,410 | Rake 0
Seat 1: EmptyBR folded on 4th St.
Seat 2: emptyman mucked [9h 9c 9d 4d 3c Ac 5s] - HI: three of a kind, Nines
Seat 3: RajaPoker10 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 4: bigbabe4 showed [Ts Td Tc 6h 4c 6s 5c] and won (6,410) with HI: a full house, Tens full of Sixes
Seat 5: backwind21 folded on 5th St.
Seat 6: Sual1 folded on 3rd St.
Seat 8: GBTROT folded on 3rd St.

I Now Know He Thinks 6789 and 9TJQ are GREAT Omaha 8 Hands

Full Tilt Poker Game #9926734524: $20 + $2 Tournament (75339749), Table 4 - 300/600 - Limit Omaha H/L - 15:42:30 ET - 2009/01/08
Seat 1: EmptyBR (5,074)
Seat 2: emptyman (3,048)
Seat 3: RajaPoker10 (4,545)
Seat 4: bigbabe4 (11,380)
Seat 8: GBTROT (7,660)
EmptyBR posts the small blind of 150
emptyman posts the big blind of 300
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to emptyman [7c Kh Ah Ad]
RajaPoker10 folds
bigbabe4 raises to 600
GBTROT folds
EmptyBR calls 450
emptyman raises to 900
bigbabe4 calls 300
EmptyBR calls 300
*** FLOP *** [8d 5s Js]
EmptyBR checks
emptyman bets 300
bigbabe4 calls 300
EmptyBR calls 300
*** TURN *** [8d 5s Js] [Qs]
EmptyBR checks
emptyman bets 600
bigbabe4 folds
EmptyBR calls 600
*** RIVER *** [8d 5s Js Qs] [9d]
EmptyBR checks
emptyman checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
emptyman shows [7c Kh Ah Ad] a pair of Aces, for high
EmptyBR shows [9c Jh Tc Qh] a straight, Queen high, for high
EmptyBR wins the pot (4,800) with a straight, Queen high
No low hand qualified
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 4,800 | Rake 0
Board: [8d 5s Js Qs 9d]
Seat 1: EmptyBR (small blind) showed [9c Jh Tc Qh] and won (4,800) with HI: a straight, Queen high
Seat 2: emptyman (big blind) showed [7c Kh Ah Ad] and lost with HI: a pair of Aces
Seat 3: RajaPoker10 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: bigbabe4 folded on the Turn
Seat 8: GBTROT (button) didn't bet (folded)

See you in the 4K tonight!

Back on the HORSE...

2009-01-05T16:58:00.003-06:00

...may as well post about it.

I'm playing better, like night-and-day better. Instead of that floundering, lost feeling, I have that in-charge, weather-the-storms feeling. And while I haven't managed to quite wade through the final table just yet, I've made 3 final tables out of the last 6 tourneys, and cashed 4 times. One of the 2 misses, I went out in Holdem at the break, raising QJs, getting 3-bet, and while the board came J567Q, the pot went to the 3-bet OVERCALL by, you guessed it, 34 offsuit. Is it a mystery how I'm doing so well in these?

I love when a good player plays one of these for the first time. Why? Well, let's play the Feud.

"Name the top reaction good players have when playing a $20-26 HORSE tourney for the first time."

#1 Answer: "Stunned disbelief". Often uttering some priceless comments. Most recently, the quote was, "I'm never missing a HORSE tournament again."

So, enough bragging about my $60 and $90 cashes. Let's go back to a few days ago, when the world of poker was a scary and confusing place. What happened? I can sum it up in 1-3 words.

Personal Responsibility.

I was playing badly, and not admitting it to myself.
I was playing well, and not paying attention to that either.
I was playing "win now", "win every pot", "win with bad cards" poker. That works, occasionally.
I was raising behind, telling myself I'm ahead, and getting mad when they "sucked out". Pure delusion.
I was ignoring the larger picture, to cherry-pick the results that I was in the mood to hear. Interestingly, sometimes, I wanted to feel like I was winning when I wasn't, but sometimes the converse was also true. Why would I want to feel like I was getting bad beats, even when I'm ahead (and lucky) for the evening?

So, I quit whining and started playing for reals. I had to sneak in under the gun for Iron Man, getting my 100 points on Dec 30 with 7 minutes to spare. (I stayed on and got my Dec 31 100 points immediately by 12:51 am.) So, now I have 6500 points to earn to get my $325 bonus, a small bankroll to work with, and now I'm 1/8th done and behind the pace, since I'm playing so well in tourneys and playing less cash.

Jumping directly to the point, starting December 30 I was quickly in the frame of mind that, "Hey, you kids quit screwing around in there!" No more time to make fancy (translation: spewage) raises and speculative (translation: spewage) calls. And Stud 8 is such a good game to make such a turnaround.

Attention, emptyman:

If you're losing at Stud 8 cash consistently, you're doing something seriously wrong. Even at $2/4 or $3/6, if you just wait for good cards, you can play most hands as a freeroll. You always say, when you're playing well, Stud 8 is break-even on a BAD night. On a good night it's many 20BB buyins.

So, if you ARE losing consistently, you can know it's you, and then it's up to you to see why. It will require some increase in awareness on your part, and I invite you to use this opportunity to practice that skill. Because that's one obscure and AWESOME muscle, the ability to step back and get a new perspective.

All that being said, we can start here. You are putting extra money in the pot, when you shouldn't be. Calling with crap, peeling bricks, or betting/raising with marginal favorites/underdogs. There is simply no way to lose long-term otherwise, not when there are so many calling stations playing so many random hands.

So take responsibility. You are losing, why? Do your best to watch your play as others would. Use odds calculators if necessary. You may find yourself preparing a case, like a lawyer, to defend your awesomely perfect, yet stunningly "losing" play. Go ahead, that's fine. This is a great way to help put some things down on paper, and maybe help you get the objective perspective you require right now.

You may end up with an airtight case. Maybe you do run like trash. But, how many times will you go to the well for that one before you look in the mirror instead?

*********

So, that was the short/long journey I took recently. Didn't "go" anywhere, but it definitely took me a while to get there anyways. Sometimes, I wonder why I make it so hard for myself...but that's another journey, another day.

As for how this one ended? Well, that part is specific to me, and I think you probably could see how. Needless to say (just went 2/2 in Token Frenzys for tonight's 4K, woot), I'm playing better, and in a better mood about everything. So, let's put something down to help short-circuit this process next time.

Let's present it as 2 options. Future Emptyman, here are your meal choices for today's flight.

When you're feeling angry:

A. It means you are also not playing your A-game of poker. And that's unacceptable, quit ASAP. Period. Figure out the source of the anger, transform it into forgiveness and authority. Resume playing only when it feels fun, light, and easy again.

B. It means I am getting SCREWED like a prison inmate's bunk-bed frame getting repaired. I am a freak of nature, somehow getting hit by miracle s**tstorms left and right. And sometimes, it literally is comical, the hands that happen. So, let's focus on each individual result (some of them, not others) as proof of long-term ability. Then, let's blame a cold deck as long as possible. When completely unavoidable, look at me and my play. Start putting down hand histories, replaying them, and pretending you are the opponent. Does it still look the same? No? Now that it's been days/weeks/months of suffering and sucking, are you finally ready to hear me?

Sorry about that last part, but sometimes I don't listen to myself, and when I'm typing it manages to come out. I really have been in a long term slump. I'm actually quite tickled to have the fresh start of 2009, because 4/6 cashes makes my monthly stats appear green for a change. Why the slump? Well, I've been lazy. Playing bad poker, not paying attention, not committing to tourneys or cash sessions. Getting mad and allowing tilt to risk my BR for 1 hand or more. Bubbling because I thought I was taking my best shot to win the tourney. (Was I?)

I will be playing the 4K tonight and tomorrow, since I got my tokens. Another last thought, when slumping I couldn't even win the Token Frenzies, SNG or MTT. That's another rock-solid indicator of BAD PLAY. You are PLAYING BADLY if you can't beat the curve in those. A good player, playing well, wins tokens at twice the average rate. And you're a good player...which leaves...

I can be so stubborn sometimes. Being smart can easily be paired with "assuming I'm right all the time". And those are completely different beasts, the former being true and the latter being a phantom, impossible to acheive. So, I'm dropping the second one.

It's all a journey. Remember that first, and the rest follows so easily from there.

Blah, $X. Blah blah, $Y. Kind words, priceless.

2008-12-29T16:52:00.003-06:00

Sitting at breakfast, talking to my parents who are visiting, when I checked my email on my iPhone, and saw not one but THREE comments about the previous post. And while I only have a few, I must get a couple of thoughts down.

OhCaptain:

I love the suggestion, and despite the fact that I can and do suggest that to other people in the same situation, I hadn't thought to turn it around to myself. So, I've started a bit on two fronts. One, I have been perusing all my books, and am figuring out which one is a good read for now. I'm definitely looking for something that really gets the spirit of poker, online or not. EoP is a great example.

As for the comment, if you have ANY inkling to say ANYTHING, please put it in a comment. This goes for the lot of you. Nothing about this blog is sacred or streamlined or anything. Any comment > no comment.

Shrike:

PirateLawyer, I look forward to your post. Before we started really chatting, I was tooling along, just playing poker in whatever capacity got put in front of me. And while I was comfortably successful at that, I have much enjoyed the upgrade into poker theory, poker psychology, and other advanced topics. Stuff that is integral to upgrading the poker in general.

So, despite the fact that I have recently become "lost in the shadows" a bit, we all know that truly great things come from the fires of chaos. Burn, baby, burn.

Hammer Player a.k.a Hoyazo:

Hoy, where to start. Honestly, I probably know every bank teller at Wells Fargo better than I know you, but I always appreciate how you just ignore that and pipe up like we're best buds.

As for your comment, you're spot on. Like OhCaptain said too, poker isn't about streaks, or short-term results. It can't be, or it's the wrong version of "poker". Yet as humans, we just love to group things together, so that we can analyze, react, feel joy/pain, make future plans, all of that. And, don't get me wrong, these skills are essential to improving as a player and a person.

But streaks are as tangible and useful as circumstantial evidence is in court. If you make any choices/changes based on that alone, you are stabbing in the dark. So, while it may take some real listening, it's imperative to use a streak/run as a possible indicator about my play, and not evidence of my play itself. Sometimes, it just happens that people turn over a wheel and a steel wheel twice in the same hour, the same two times I have 6432AA and a 45678. Using that as "evidence" to make any changes would be confusing and counterproductive, at best.

So, my Zen decree for today:

I have my strength to see what I am doing right, and my wisdom to observe what I can do better.

My reading for today:

Emptyman's HORSE primers
Secrets of the Millionaire Mind (T. Harv Eker)
Poker book #1?? (suggestions appreciated)

Self-Destructive Poker

2008-12-27T20:13:00.010-06:00

(Warning: long post, possibly TMI, don't say I didn't warn you)

I'm stuck in it, and I am looking for the way out. So, I'm dumping here, sometimes it helps when I just start typing. The words often come from the heart instead of the mind.

I think I just understood why. It's because the heart speaks at a slower rate than the mind. I think the mind gets precedence simply because it's faster and therefore more entertaining. Slowing down is a key. And typing slows me down. I sometimes have a full 15-20 seconds to process the next sentence before I get to it right......now.

It feels like a f*cking miracle to win a pot. To raise A7A, and even hold for a split in a 3-way pot. I mean seriously. I wait 60 minutes, get 3467 and miss 3 times, folding to the war of "No, MY two pair is better!"

I raise AA3K, and know that the guy who will cold call with 2569r will hit his trip 9s on the turn and I'll be out. And I madly shove my chips in anyways, because I'm supposed to "not raise" there?

Live: K77 to start, I raise because they all show crap. I make an open pair, which happens to be aces.
AA77 scooped by trip 5s on the river.

So, I'm pissed. What about? That he donked me? That I bet my good money into a pot where I was a favorite? Am I wrong about the math? His range? (No. He called my 7 raise on 3rd with an 8. Not sure how that could be a good play, and his possibilities for 3rd street are 458 or 558. Which is the good one again?) Did he have it the whole way? No, mandatory raise when you spike trips, when I'm obviously not that strong.

Standard calling station seeing 3 low cards and calling to the river for any draw?

Yes.

So I'm pissed because I missed a 60/40 shot. Great. Good one emptyman, real logical.

Okay, is it ego? Do I need him to know how much he sucks? Or how awesome I am?

Is it about the money? Can't be, because in any state of mind, wagering on a 60/40 is a good investment. Guaranteed to pay off over the long run. Make sure to CHECK the ACCURACY of my so-called "60/40" investment. Where is a good calculator these days?

Am I failing to adjust to the players as I move DOWN in the levels? DEFINITELY.

Okay, that was a resounding "yes". So, I need to make the GEICO® adjustment. Not necessarily worse players in every category, just overall. And the important thing to remember, they think LESS about choices, pot odds, drawing odds.

Live, on-cue example:

I find 456 and reraise 3rd vs a 5 and a 6. My board eventually reads:

(65)4263(2)

I get called every street by:

(38)5A4Q(Q)

Each individual call is not that bad, but horrible hand selection. Calling a raise and then having to call a reraise with 385 is donating. If you hit, you get your money back. 2%, you might fill in a low (6-card) straight, and scoop. Or, against me, 30%. The rest, you have to fold on the way, or worse, chase to the river with 2nd best.

So, here's what I'm REALLY pissed at.

1. I played fast and loose with my bankroll, or hit a cold deck, or some combination.
2. I have to go down in levels.
3. I have to man up, grind more, play tighter, smarter, so I can go back up.
4. Through some combination of a failure of #3 and more of #1, 1-3 repeats.

And so the cycle continues. To the point where I feel it when I lose a $8 Token Frenzy, and my game selections are comprised of $1/$2, $10-20 buyin tourneys, or Candy Land with my 5-year-old nieces. And the third option is really starting to look good for me right now.

So, I recognize this place. Tension, conflict. Soon after this, I find some release, some peace, some "moving forward" and poker becomes the easiest game in the world. So, I'm not worried about that. I am a great poker player, and a genius, so I have full confidence that I will continue to crush the games in the long run.

I'm starting to look at an alternative #1 for above.

(Live: (AA)22 and I make a running flush. Thank god, donkey rivers his trip Ts. Too bad I have to split with the 8 donk. Oh well, and extra bet on the end and HALF A POT! WOOHOOOOOOOO!)

The start of my descent in the ranks coincides with my resolution to move up in the ranks. To push up a big bankroll, like I've done in the past, and then MAINTAIN and CHERISH and LOVE IT (and yes, call it George). But for once, when I made a push to turn 1200 into 3000, I failed. Me. I, emptyman jones, failed. C'est la vie. "BFD!" (Michael Scott.)

I'm that kid you always hated in school. Teacher's pet in every class, the nice, brainy kid who blew the curves. But also good at everything else. Sports, games, all subjects. In 7th grade my quiz bowl team (Go homeroom 7A! Or whatever!) went 14-0. But I can honestly say I could have been on any of the other 7 teams and we would go 14-0 instead. I mean, I was just wired this way, with the ability to remember and also quickly process and quickly ring in. And I just happen to remember everything too. So Trivial Pursuit and those games aren't any fun either.

Growing up, this meant trouble even for my brilliant siblings. My sister responded by not playing with me anymore, once I learned (with help from Mom) not to trade Boardwalk and North Carolina for St. Charles and States because "I liked them better". The very next game, I won on my own. We've played maybe a handful of games since, and rarely ever (I could say never) head-to-head.

My poor younger brother, 2 1/2 years younger than me, just had to take it. And he also found himself wanting to do other things, and I can't blame him. He was old enough to play the games, but not old enough to compete. And brilliant as he was, he had to compete against 2 1/2 years older ME. Video games, sports, made-up games, I mean he just really had no chance. And since were both fully of the attitude, "Winning rules, losing sucks", it caused a lot of grief. So, he developed other interests, and we went our separate ways. While we're both notoriously hard to reach on the phone, we manage to still talk once a year, when Mom calls or when his computer gets one too many viruses. That's enough for us right now. And when we meet on that rare occasion, it's all smiles and hugs and stories. Hmm, suddenly I wish it was a little more often. :)

So, as we close this long narrative into a fine point, I obviously crave a competition vs. equals. And thanks to my current bankroll, combined with my recent trends, it's slipping further and further out of view. Leading to frustration (in the past).

(Live: A2467 on 5th, I raise 4th in anticipation even, and the (KT)Q hits his K on 4th so he's not folding. Fast forward two bricks to the river and his KK is good for a split. Sigh.)

Feel free to comment on this, but I truly believe I can play rake-even or better in tourneys like the $200 Sunday HORSE or any $150 NLHE, or certainly any $75 O/R/S/E tourney. And yet I have exactly $175 in my account right now.

So, what's my solution? Instead of railing against existence, being mad about how I think it "should be", how do I instead flow with existence?

1. Deposit more money. Not going to do that, not right now. I need some reason to think it won't get flushed/burned like the others.
2. Redefine the game.

The premise that lower-limit donks are harder to beat is a myth.

(Live: (45)AA2T(6) rivered by miracle fucking wheel! FUUUUUUUUUCK!)

So, to redefine the game, I have to change the rules. It's no longer about just winning, it's about squeezing every dime out of these donkeys. Not giving a cent back through frustration, boredom or inattention. To get up to the levels I belong at, in the least amount of poker played.

Also, to have fun doing it. And gain some understanding, do some writing, all of the fun things that coincide with playing good poker.

To do that, I am starting right now with "Mum poker". For as long as possible. Turn off the chat, don't talk to donkeys.

It's time to crush this game again.

************

UPDATE:

So far, I've made 5 comments at least, playing Mum Poker. And while I cast them into the void (translation: chat turned off, so no responses), that's no excuse. I recommit.

From stuck a buy-in to up $0.40. Woot!

Blogging at Work

2008-12-24T15:48:00.004-06:00

Ok, it's time for that epic, catch-all post, easily a better substitute than me actually posting on a regular basis.

I started blogging 18 months ago, and I had a 9-5 job then. Which meant I had 7-8 hours a day when I could blog. Now that I'm working on my own, I have to do it in my own personal time. Boo. I had hopes that maybe blogging could be +EV, or at least pay for itself with a few ads. Not so, not yet at least. So, when all is said and done, blogging gives me a -EV way to invest my time. Great when I have tons of extra time, and falling off the priority list when I don't. Also when I hate poker.

Vegas was a fabulous time for Emptyman and Hotwife (she's learning poker now, so we're trying out handles). It was my first blogger gathering, and also my 3-year anniversary of eloping in Vegas. So, the trip was dual-function and doubly special for me.

I enjoyed meetng a lot of bloggers for the first time, on the first night and at the tournament. Quite the interesting phenomenon, these meetings. Some I knew only by reputation, and enjoyed talking to greatly. Some I knew very well, like PirateLawyer, but since we chat all the time, we had surprisingly little to catch up on. Finally, BuddyDank and Joanada, a couple of true friends, made it extra special for me.

The tourney was extremely enjoyable. And, despite my intuition telling me I wouldn't win it, I chose to play anyways, and it was definitely worth it. Highlights:

Slow and solid early, I avoided trouble for the most part. Then I raise QcJd in the CO, and both Zeem and OhCaptain call me from the blinds. Flop is KsTs9s, the nuts, but monotone in the wrong suit. Zeem leads 1000, OhCaptain calls, and I cross my fingers and shove 7900. Zeem calls with KT (all red), and OhCaptain reluctantly lays down KJ (J spades). Two blanks and I double up, close to 20K and in great shape.

Two other hands I pick up KK and QQ. Both times I reraise preflop and get no calls.

Nothing much happened for a long time after that. I won a couple, missed a couple of flops, and mostly just enjoyed chatting with my table. As one player busted (for example, Jordan getting "kenoed" by Zeem with set-over-set), a new player sat down and again the table had new life. Poker with a good crowd can actually be quite fun to play, even when folding for hours.

So, I was able to survive, but not chip up for the next while. Blinds went up, but I was still in good shape. Then, this happened:

300/600, 100 ante --> 1000/2000, 300 ante. Yes, in one level. If you were there, it's when the whole room mumbled a collective, "WTF?" So, my stack of 12K goes from 20BB to 6BB, and with the ante tripling and the table short, I became an immediate push-and-pray. I guess it pays to research the tourney structure.

I shove 55 in EP, no call. I get Ad8d in BB, and raised by the button. His 66 holds and I'm out in 22nd.

It wasn't much poker for a deep-stack tourney. But, it was a RIOT as far as a fun tourney goes. I am jonesing for the next one. And I think I will enjoy the Mookie et. al. much much more now.

The rest of the trip was fabulous as well, although the Stratosphere will never again see my business. First, I check into a "Strip-View Suite", but because of some unsaid issue with their room availability, I was checked into a "Strip-View" ordinary room. Well, I had expected a suite, complete with multiple rooms, so this was obviously wrong and I returned to the front desk.

They charged me to upgrade to a "Strip-View Spa Suite", which was $30 more/night, but featured a spa bathtub and taller ceilings. Still the same ONE room, same size (except height). I passed on another visit to the front desk. I should not have.

The room next door was habitated by insomniac zombies. The TV was on, and loud enough to hear words, for 21 HOURS A DAY for the ENTIRE TRIP. And if you assume the 3 hours off are overnight, you are sadly mistaken. My wife and I had to turn on our own noise to block it out, and sleep many many extra hours to compensate. Finally, hammered on the last night of our stay, and the TV blaring next door, I went to the front desk to get another room. They moved us back down 2 floors to the same room we originally had. Thanks for the excellent customer service. No comps, no apologies, just shuffled us through the system. I'm still not sure I wasn't overcharged, or that the room booking was even my fault (haven't had time to check). Will keep you posted. Regardless, staying somewhere else from now on.

Last thing about the Stratosphere was the elevators. I mean, I'm generally okay with heights, but I have my limits. These elevators were haunted/broken all over the place. Sometimes, I would push a button, such as "C" for the bottom floor/casino, and the light around it turned red instead of green. Meaning, that if you try to actually go to the floor, it will get there, stop, not open the doors, and then move on. One elevator was broken on 12. I seriously considered whether or not I might get stuck in the elevator before each trip, and quickly bailed on a couple when I got red lights. Combined with spending one long moment standing on the 107th floor, rocking in a big windstorm, waiting for dinner, and you will probably only find me at the usual 7000 feet for a while.

Hotwife and I crushed the slots. She hit most of the big jackpots, and we actually managed to break even for the trip, which should tell you exactly how well we did.

I was only able to play one game of poker, lame 1/2 NL at the Strat vs. the usual tourists. As I arrived, one guy was playing the role of resident donkey/luckbox, having almost $1000 ($300 max buyin). I saw him raise to $20 w/ K4s in EP, then a shove for $80 and an allin call for $60. He makes the overcall, and beats QQ and an unshown hand on the Kxxxx board.

As a nice treat, I was able to get involved with him twice and ACTUALLY have the best hand hold. One time I called with 55, flop came J56, turn 2, river 4. Somehow he has J2 instead of J3 and I double up. One flush, one big 2 pair, and a couple 3-bets preflop with KK/AA that weren't called. I finished up a few bucks for the day. Whee.

I did meet some cool people there as well, one in particular, and again I see the appeal of B&M poker. Johnny was his name, and he was from England, and was kind enough to give me his friend's card cover. We chatted all day about real poker, shared hands, had a great time. Now "that", I could do for a living. Sadly, grinding online is not "that".

The drive home was amazing. We managed to complete a 4-5 hour drive in only 13 hours. It started snowing around Kingman, AZ, and only got more blizzardy as we kept going. Kingman, if you don't know, is like actual desert Arizona. So, if it's snowing there, you can imagine what it's like at 5000 feet and up. I remember seeing a sign showing only 72 miles to home, and then depressingly doing the math and realizing that it would translate to 2-3 hours crawling along Interstate 40. I think we would have had to stop if not for the Interstate, side roads were definitely impassable. Cars were in the ditch everywhere. I grew up in the Midwest, so I've seen and driven my share of storms, but this was easily the largest I've ever witnessed. And we made it safely, 13 hours after leaving Vegas. Boy, am I glad we didn't stay an extra day, as it snowed here for 3 days straight. We'd probably still be in Vegas, hooking for penny slot money (me, specifically).

Right now, I'm putting the finishing touches on my Hand History tool, and sneaking in a tourney or two when I can. Mostly, I'm just working. Even now, as we speak, although obviously for once I don't have to be paying attention.

Well, I think that's all for now. PirateLawyer, Rooster, OhCaptain/Countess, Falstaff, Jordan, CK, BuddyDank, Joanada, PokerPeaker, Zeem, and "Guy I Forgot To Mention So Now He Feels Slighted", it was fantastic to meet you all. Maybe next time I'll actually be around for some of the other stuff. If I didn't get a chance to meet/hang with you, let's plan on it next time. But for now, come meet me online, on my blog or at the tables. I should be around a lot more starting in the new year.

P.S. The 4K is massively pissing me off. Therefore, I will be pounding on it until I clobber it a few times. Maybe I'll read my own primer. Regardless, look for me to reclaim the "HORSE horse" mantle from NumbBono, who has been carrying that torch with pride lately.

Sometimes....

2008-12-23T00:15:00.005-06:00

I can't put ANYTHING together. I've bubbled/coolered every tourney since Vegas.

A5 on the button 5-handed in Holdem, I raise. BB reraises, I call. Flop AK3, bet, raise, call. Turn 5. 4 bets all in. He shows AJ. River J. Out just before final table.

29th in 4K (pays 24) out in Razz, running hands like A45, A56 into 356 and 367 and getting outdrawn, 3 consecutive hands.

12th in $20 HORSE (pays 8) running into the bring in's 222 in Stud Hi.

And then this gem.

500/1000, I have almost 2000. Donkey instacalls in the SB as expected, even though it's h4h and it's 1/3 of his stack. He flops the dream and I freaking LITERALLY bubble the 4K again tonight.

Tournament poker can be a harsh mistress.

I just wish I could even win at $1/$2 right now.

5 days off

2008-12-20T19:58:00.003-06:00

Vegas was a blast. (Duh.) But I had no idea how far it would set me back. Like SERIOUSLY.

I'll be back soon. I've been coolered near the money in the 2 (two!) tourneys I've played since returning 5 days ago.

Poker, ye are a cagy mistress.

Sorry To Be So Lame

2008-12-08T18:31:00.002-06:00

So much for regular posts.

Seriously I've been crunching on the HH tool. And playing poker for Vegas money has started out as losing 1/2 my bankroll on some crazy swings. So now I'm grinding back to get to the goal amount.

Philosiphisizing can wait. Back to the tables. Homework for today is up to you. You know which book you have, haven't read, and seriously should have read by now. Go read it.

I'm so lame.

Blogging Priorites: The Butoff Seat

2008-12-01T22:26:00.002-06:00

I'm so freakin' busy. It's made my priorities crystal clear.

1. Play poker. (ADDICT!)
2. Write poker software.
3. Write blog posts.
4. Write other poker strategy material.
5. Read other poker blogs.

I made a quick jump down to #5 today, and I found a gem. Here, in case you missed it:

The Butoff

A one minute read. And use it at every opportunity. I like just saying it randomly. I think you'll like it if you try it.

Geeking Out (programmer-style)

2008-11-29T03:46:00.002-06:00

There's something about pounding out a nice new for loop that just....well, inspires me.

Substitute For Actual Post

2008-11-29T02:27:00.003-06:00

Another reader comment! Much appreciated.

Still quiet, because I'm putting my finishing touches on the hand-history tool and doing some serious pokering. The more money I have, the more fun Vegas is. Have you ever been on vacation, but low on money? Maybe seriously low? Man that sucks hard.

So, I'm choosing the opposite. Bunches of extra money, because the opposite of that other thing must be seriously good.

Thanksgiving Day, 2009

2008-11-27T11:38:00.002-06:00

Terrorist attacks in India.

And the Macy's parade gets a live RickRoll from Rick Astley himself.

What a strange and fascinating world we live in.

Peace.

Vegas Bound

2008-11-22T18:04:00.002-06:00

Just confirmed reservations for Vegas. Coming in Thursday, leaving Monday (or Tuesday...or Wednesday...)

Staying in a sweet suite at the Stratosphere. While I didn't plan this , it's brilliant in hindsight. If you elope in Vegas, your wife will always love going to Vegas. "Vegas? Again?? (faking) Well, all right..."

I look forward to meeting everyone there, and playing some donkey poker. And feeding my irrational addiction to penny slots.

Pigsty Party!!!!

Token Farming

2008-11-14T15:28:00.006-06:00

This post is directed at the smaller-stakes players. So, doing some rough math, if we assume that comprises 40% of my readership, well, then let's just say it's for the both of you.

Tokens were the one of the best ideas Full Tilt has had up until their recent addition of late registration. They are genius because they allow buyins to many popular tourneys on FullTilt. And yet they have no cash value, and aren't worth a single penny more than their cash representation (buying into a $75 token tourney costs exactly $75, $69+6). And it's not like it's a matter of convenience, because it's not like you are carrying around a physical object. Yet, they are as popular as Crocs, and not as ugly. Why? Another day. How? Good question.

There are several SNG tourneys that pay in tokens. The $26 and $75 token frenzies are also good, but MTT so therefore at scheduled times. Let's say you would like to "token-farm" right now. Where to go, what to do?

1. Tier I ($8.70T, $8.80, 2 tables)
5 tokens, $14 for 6th. Top 5 of 18 should give you a big target to aim for.

2. Tier II ($24+2, 1 or 2 tables)
Turbo or not, your choice. These pay top 3 (or top 6) effectively, since the "bubble money" is large enough to almost be a token. Time difference could be as large as 20-30 minutes. Notice you can use a Tier I ($26) token to buyin here, and you will notice that some people definitely like to climb the ladder. If you see a player playing horribly in this tourney, you can assume he probably won his $26 token for $6 or less. Otherwise, the players will show a much higher level of competence in these. Specifically, approaching the bubble. Adjust accordingly.

3. Tier III
Same thing as Tier II, but entry is $69+6 (or a $75 token). Winners get a "Tier Three Token", which isn't actually a token, but just T$216. You can convert to actual $$$ at a 5% commission. Again, how do they get away with giving what is effectively a 95% prize? Again, we will discuss this another day.
The nice thing about T$216 is that, unlike the tokens you can divide it however you choose. If you choose a bunch of $8 tourneys, that works just fine. Also, it's good for big tourneys like the Sunday HORSE.

4. 1800 FTP
This is my tourney of choice for using up those FTPs that you've been saving/avoiding. It pays $26 tokens to the top 3, and the play is highly suspect. Some consider the entry fee as "free", so you will find lots of pushmonkeys and early all in moves. Avoid them, or capitalize on them, and get yourself a "free" $26 token for your efforts.

So, now that you've signed up. what's the strategy?

1. Play tight early. I mean, significantly tight. When you feel like you should be chipping up (in a regular tourney), remember that this pays the same across all spots. Only need to get there with 1 chip.

2. Be careful of confrontations. You certainly aren't looking for coin flips, and you should be able to find decent enough cards to play for value, without getting unnecessarily creative. Obviously, you will still be raising AK and calling shoves, but don't waste any time figuring out if your 44 is slightly ahead preflop or not. Fold instead.

3. Take UNCONTESTED pots. Other players are also playing not-to-lose, because of the tourney format. So, most raises will go uncalled, especially in position. Postflop, this is an excellent place to work on your intuition and reads. Again, be careful when necessary, but bet/raise when called for.

4. Around the bubble, be very selective, but very aggressive. Even if you have to coast until bubble time, you still have a good chance to take it down. Just pick a good spot to raise (all-in) in late-position, and with a hand that has good showdown value (Ax, Kx or pair, not 45 sooted), and go for the blinds. A couple steals can get you healthy enough to finish, and if you've been folding all tourney, they will most likely work.

In prep for this column, I have played and recorded a dozen-and-a-half Token Tourneys of various types. Let's show some pretty pictures, and check on my personal results.

Limp-reraise, perfect trap on my part. Yet, I'm out in a dubious start to this (semi-)grand experiment.

Victory #1. Which reminds me, this is a GREAT place to work on your endgame, for when you are in that WSOP satellite for the main event, and the bubble is approaching. When to check, call, check-down, protect hands, these are all necessary skills to have. Here, I limped and checked down with AA, since we were literally on the bubble.

2 for 3.

$75 token #1, and guess who runs goot.

Money bubble, $14.

Coin flip lost.

$75 #2. With almost 10K in chips, I cruised. Now, another skill to hone is what to do in these situations. I mean T6000 pretty much reserves you a token, but how should you play it? Bully, but be careful, that's the short version. Priority #1 is keeping your chips and "your token", eliminating other players is a DISTANT second. Let them make the moves, they're the desparate ones.

Classic. No token (eventually) this time, but these are the kinds of confrontations you will find yourself in if you are careful. Plenty of 70/30's to go around, don't be the guy with Ace-rag.

Boo. Bubble.

Woot, $26 token #3. Notice who has 16K this time. If you are lucky enough to get a maniac that wants ALL the chips, great! Just stay out of his way, pick your spots against the other stacks. They have all noticed too, and are all hoping he takes everyone else out. This is a good time to be a bit more aggressive, stealing from the other stacks.

$75 #3.

Again, chipping up early. Again, I blew it later, but this is a good example of doubling early in these tourneys. Often you will find they have MUCH less than QQ, and a quick double can put you in cruise control early on.

Oops. Misread, I though 2nd pair was good, but he was checking some big strength on the flop.

Bubble. Self-explanatory.

Card dead, and stuck at 2 5-player tables for a long time, with 1 big stack per table. I finally get an ace and shove 890, but the BB wakes up with TT. I'm happy with the bet, based on image, stacks, and situation.

My turn to end up on the wrong side of QQ v. KK.

Sigh. My luck appears to have turned.

Experiment is now over.

*******

Looking at the numbers, I did above-par, if only barely. Certainly it helps that I did well in most of my $75 tourneys. Many were bought into with $26 tokens.

But, let's look at the prize math.

At $8.80 for a prize of $26, if you win tokens half the time (reasonable), you are making a return of $26 on $17.60, or $8.40/2 = $4.20 per 1-hour tourney.
At $26 for a prize of $75, if you win half (harder but not unreasonable), you are making a return of $75 for $52, or $23/2 = $11.50 per 1-hour tourney.

My favorite uses for tokens? I'm glad you asked.

$26 token - $4K HORSE (22:15 nightly), $24K and $28K, $75 token tourneys, and Sunday HORSE satellites
$75 token - $5K (20:45 nightly, different game every day of the week), Sunday HORSE satellites, FTOPS satellites, Tier III tourneys

So, check those prized and tourneys, and see if any of them fit your current bankroll needs. As for tourneys to use them in , remember if you go all the way to T$216, you can choose any tourney you like. Otherwise, I'm sure a quick scan of the lobby will show you 10 tourneys in which you can use your shiny new token. Now it's all about picking which one...

Thank You For This

2008-11-12T20:59:00.002-06:00

Mullet Powers Activate!

Token Tourneys:
Current experiment under way. Results soon.

Where Did the Week Go?

2008-11-09T03:31:00.002-06:00

Wow, no post since Monday. And very little to talk about now. So many work obligations lately, I didn't even have time to play in the Bodog Tounerys this week.

Just one of those slow patches at poker for me right now. And I'm okay with that, although it leads to less posts.

I recommit to earning my buyins for WSOP 2009 tourneys. Starting now. Because that experience was quite a good one. And I'm so much better now, I grimace when I think about how badly I played. Also, how badly I played at cash today. Sigh. I let a few bricked wheel draw or low flush draws in a row rile me up, and then I overplayed everything for a while. I at least gave up at 5/10 and went to lose the rest of my BR at 2/4, although then I realized I could just quit instead. Very very hard to do, but I quit, severely stuck and severely bruised in the ego. Why does that matter? Keep the ego out of it.

Guess Who's Running Better

2008-11-03T16:42:00.006-06:00

Streaks are artificial. Hand-by-hand results are statistically insignificant. With enough time, all possible outcomes for a given chance event will happen, and in almost exactly the ratio of their relative probabilities.

Translation:

Even if God couldn't win with the cards you're getting, be patient. It all comes around.

Fake It 'Til Ya Make It

2008-11-02T18:05:00.003-06:00

I'm running like crap. I mean, seriously.

Just count the outs. 7 flush cards, 4 more straight cards, 2 straight flush cards. 3 cards to come. All bricks.

So I'm going back to a Zen staple, fake it 'til you make it. Streaks don't exist. I'm playing excellent poker, and I can back that up with some serious strategy discussions and hand reviews with PirateLawyer. We might just open a school for Stud H/L. But not today, it seems.

Anyways, I'm stuck after several hours of comical play at the tables today. I feel stuck, and I'm staring at my bankroll, just itching to get in a game to correct this problem. I refuse to agree with that feeling.

There are no good games for me to play right now. Therefore, I won't play. Stuck or not. And whether I FEEL like it or not right now, I'm going to pretend like I do. It's tried and true, next time I will ACTUALLY feel more like it. And the next time. Until I feel 100%.

******

Today's "Read That Player" Quiz:

How many of these 6 players signed up because they saw a pro in an SNG?

(Hint: I have pretty much every HORSE player on FT noted and colored)

If You're Just Starting Out

2008-10-31T04:42:00.002-05:00

I thought it would be worth a quick list of considerations for someone just starting online poker for the first time. Or, even if just starting a new account on a new site. Veterans, chime in if this list is incorrect/incomplete.

1. Availability

Some sites are not available in all countries. Currently, Titan Poker and Party Poker aren't available in the US, while Bodog is not availale in Canada. Furthermore, the all have certain accepted methods for deposit and withdrawal. Ensure that you can move your money around. While I don't guarantee it will be quick, it should be straightforward and reliable.

2. Size and Features

I think most experienced online players would tell you first of all, it's about the poker. Where can you find the games you choose to play, at the times you choose to play them? How is the competition? What are the perks? Is the software pretty and useful, or offensive and hard to use? You should be able to download and sample the software without too much time investment.

3. Deposit Bonuses

Virtually every site has a deposit bonus for first-time depositors. The thing is, most will also not release the bonus until you've played enough hands to cover a certain amount of rake. Know this, cash games generate much more rake, so players who play cash will "clear" a bonus much quicker. So before you pinch to put $400 in to play $10 SNGs, realize that it will take hundreds of SNGs to work off that bonus. It's very possible you won't see very much of the bonus $400 at all.

Alternatively, Bodog is one site that offers an instant deposit bonus, 10% of your deposit currently. In this case you get a much smaller amount, but receive it instantly. No hand-playing requirements.

4. Rakeback/Referral Bonuses

One more choice to make is who you are going to reward for introducing you to a new site and making your first deposit. There are oodles of choices. An important thing to remember, no matter what you choose here, it is separate from any Deposit Bonus you might get. Usually you get 1 of each, if you are savvy enough to make sure you get a referral before just signing up and depositing.

Some blogs will have referral codes, and you can reward your favorite blogger by using their code when you sign up. Not me personally right now, but if you love me that much, drop a few bucks and join me in a HORSE tourney ;)

Some sites will have other offers, such as twoplustwo.com. They will offer five or six of their best poker books if you use them as a referral. They are an awesome site that truly does have a great poker library for beginners to pros. I could easily recommend twice that many of their books.

But, I saved the best for last. Rakeback, aka rewarding yourself.

Rakeback is something that is offered by several sites, and boils down to this. You play X amount of poker, and Full Tilt makes money by taking $Y in rake from pots that you win. These sites will give you a certain percentage of $Y back at the end of a fixed time period, such as each month.

One such site is http://www.ThisIsTheNuts.com. With offers for over a dozen poker rooms, you can follow simple directions to sign up, and that's it. Whatever you pay to play poker online (the rake), you will now pay a significant percentage less. Up to 25 or 30%, or maybe even more. Free money.

The essential step to enable rakeback is using the rakeback site's referral code, so that the poker site knows you were "referred" by the rakeback site. Which means you cannot use any of the other above referral options, or any other unmentioned ones. Make sure you do this correctly though, because it's the one part that MUST be done right, or it may invalidate the whole process.

It may seem like, "what's the catch?" But the referral, combined with the fact that any rakeback paid out is only a percentage of rake generated, and you should be able to see how this could be mutually beneficial for everyone involved.

So, the choice is yours. But if you are going to be a serious player, rakeback is the only sensible option. It will pay you back over time, and money is the best gift of all.

***

Go get 'em! Or, I also highly recommend the play-chip route. You can create an account without depositing any real money (although you may want to check on the referral requirements, they may need to be filled in when the account is created). Then you can go play for free, against other real players. Be careful, until you get a balance of millions of play chips, you can't truly get a sense for the competition out there. But, that being said, there is a level of competition right for EVERYBODY out there, it's just a matter of stakes. If you are completely new, maybe try $0.25/$0.50 Limit Hold'em, or a $2 Sit 'N' Go.

Whatever you do, have fun! And come back here for all the strategy you can eat, once you've made the choice to start conquering the game.

New Strategy Article at BDR

2008-10-29T17:51:00.004-05:00

You can read it here. If you have any interest in learning/playing Stud H/L, it's a must read, if I do say so myself. It's basically an instruction manual for printing money.

Buddy Dank Radio tonight! The Mookie! Also remember BDR is running Tuesday and Thursday for the Bodog Blogger Series. Here's how my first tourney went:

Raise to 525 UTG, and I shove 2300 on the button. My reputation precedes me, and he makes the obvious call with AQ sooooooooted, because I can reshove on the button with ANYTHING. See you on the radio tonight, and on Bodog Thursday!

Omaha H/L Chipleader: What Happened?

2008-10-28T17:04:00.008-05:00

A tale of two tourneys for me, as I went out harmlessly in the $75 Omaha H/L tourney. I was upset to blow a big lead, but going to the tape, I think I didn't play too badly, and of the things I did I can learn. I'm still a bit of a noob at Omaha tourneys.

I started at a dreamy table. Double-stacked, and with not one but TWO maniacs. So every hand, every street gets 4 bets, as one or both feels it's necessary to cap it preflop. Then cap it on the flop. Then the turn. Then, next hand, there are 4 bets on each street again. Time to pick spots VERY CAREFULLY.

Even half a pot is huge with all these bets.

Now we're talking. A good stack now and I'm on my way.

Another huge win, the first of 3 hands in a row for me.

The very next hand. Sometimes the heaters keep going...and going...

The VERY NEXT hand.

Time for another huge pot.

WAY ahead. And I know how to hang on to chips, unlike the famous DBTG1. Although I'm in a very dangerous spot, where I could easily morph into "that guy". Must ensure I slow down and play very selectively.

Then this happened in the $75 Token Frenzy. I limp-reraise, play it perfect, get all in preflop with extra dead money, and then lose to the 4-straight. While not related, I wonder if this affected my play at all in THIS tourney. If results can bleed over (which I'm SURE they can), it's one more argument against simultaneously playing multiple tables/tourneys.

An all-in situation. UTG raised and was all in. The SB makes the call after me, and then check-raises me on the flop. I brick out the nut-low draw AND the better pair draw and lose to his 2 tiny pair.

Limped on the button 6-handed. Still despite being good the whole way, it's certainly evidence of an alarming trend of bad starting hands. If I played myself out of the tourney at all, it was playing too many hands, chasing them too far. Then variance hit me as I got low.

Again, I can't complain too much about this one. It folded to me on the button, and I certainly have a raising hand. Lucky me, the SB calls 1 1/2 bets with QJ34 double-soooooooooted (QJ spades), and then hits the spade on the turn AND fades a pair on the river. A good hand in position, just bad luck and a "hero" blind defense. I promise that no matter how loose my starting requirements got, I was never cold-calling QJ34ds OOP.

UTG raises with about 4 big bets, and I have AAK6 in the BB. Obviously I put him all in, and then he scoops me with A44Q, 3 hearts. I need a term for anti-suited...where they actually have some of their own "flush outs" in their starting Omaha hand. Half my stack gone.

The nail in the coffin, I had just a few bets left, which I gladly put in on the flop. Didn't know the button raise was AA....how could I?

A few thoughts:

Someone chatted that "empty bleeds chips" during the tourney. Instead of pissing me off, this actually helped me make better hand selections and betting choices. I also instantly muted him. So, I give that response a gold star, especially considering my history of handling that kind of situation. When it comes down to it, remember that all past things are done and immutable, and that it requires ZERO effort to recommit right now. An honest recommitment will often be the difference between bombing out and making that spectacular comeback.

I was worried, considering my path all over the leaderboard, that I had screwed up an awesome opportunity, and was feeling a bit down today about my play. Honestly now, I am pretty pleased, considering how new I am to Omaha. I feel like my money went in the middle in good shape most of the time.

If you disagree, or would love to help me become a better player, I'd love any thoughts/pointers about any of these hands. Please, if you call me a bad poker player in the comments, on MY blog, you won't be an enemy, you'll be my hero (unless you're just being an ass).

I can't shake the nagging feeling that I'm continuing to beat myself in tourneys. I am going to go put the Tommy Angelo book on my nightstand right now. Immediately after finishing that book was the cleanest I've ever felt about my poker game. Time to re-locate that feeling.

****

BuddyDank radio and the Mookie tomorrow night. I will be there, join me.

Out of the FTOPS #13 Satellite

2008-10-26T21:58:00.006-05:00

PLAYED MY ASS OFF. Got to the final 4 with a chance to go, get it all in 3-ways with AA763 in Stud H/L.

Scooped after the A57A3 catches 34 while I catch bricks. FAWK me. Bubbled, with an insulting but still welcome $72 prize for my $75 entry fee.

Sunday HORSE is a disaster too, getting drilled the 1 time an hour I see the flop. Sigh.

More to come...

UPDATE:

Reamed on both tables, down to life support in 4K and Sunday HORSE. Nothing is going right, but at least I'm aware enough to witness this criminal dealing.

FURTHER UPDATE:

Out of Sunday HORSE. Down to 642/2000 in 4K approaching first break. Maybe I can hit the cash tables hard...

FINAL UPDATE:

Out of 4K. K7 suited, I raise with 4 bets back in Holdem. Flop is T84 2 of my suit. I bet. Turn is a 6, giving me now a double-gutshot to go with my flush draw and K. River is a blank, and I get beaten by 76. Yep. The classic 3-outer on the turn. I suck so hard.

Timing is Everything

2008-10-26T19:00:00.005-05:00

Here I am, writing that strategy post that preludes all my big wins. And in a Sunday HORSE satellite as I write this, with Sunday HORSE and FTOPS #13 satellite to follow. So, here's what's up, strategery-style:

1. Be patient. Ratio of bubbling out/big cashes is alarmingly high, pushing the envelope too hard. So be more selective, let some of the other players do some of the work. No fault for the last satellite, paying 8 I went in with 1/5 the chips of 7th place and did my best, bad beat.

2. While patience is being selective about when to rumble, it's not about playing tight when going to war. Do not be willing to sacrifice tempo in a hand for the sake of playing careful with chips. If I'm not willing to raise, I shouldn't still be in this war, and probably should have folded last street.

3. Patience. Remeber all the 4K posts, talking about patience.

4. There IS an edge too slim to push, in tournaments. In fact, there's no reason to be playing any hands less than 60/40, because those opportunites are bountiful. If I am playing a 55/45, I'm probably playing too many hands, or I should at least slow down this hand. No reason to get excited. And really, I would have to be running REALLY bad not to see a 60/40 opportunity at least once a level, on average. 2/3 of those is plenty of chips, and I think I can push the 60/40 some as well, to get it closer to 2:1.

5. Confidence. Have been running well at cash tables to offset tourney mishaps, so fundamental game is sound. And I just moved up in the satellite, where it pays top 8, 16 left, and I just vaulted up to 3rd. Highlights follow.

At a cash table, high limpers in front. No reason to play it slow, they might get scared. Better if they all get invested.

Payday. SCOOP!

When he calls my raise, I bet the 6 on the turn, which now is the first of 2 low cards he's chasing. 9 on the river. SCOOP.

Pretty safe now. And, now I'm in. See you there, patiently.

Bad Poker, Expected Result

2008-10-26T03:57:00.002-05:00

Played my tourneys today, but really didn't commit to them. Accordingly, got stuck in some hands calling down, knowing I had just been outdrawn, and got stubborn anyways. Stupid, and I go out accordingly.

The cause today was violating rule #1: Don't sign up for a tourney if you don't actually care about playing it IN THAT MOMENT. It may sound like a great idea earlier in the day, or the day before, but when it comes time to sign up, check in and make sure you are in it for the ENTIRE length to win it. How ever many hours that is. BTW, emptyman, good job on unregistering for the 9:30 tourney you didn't want to play after not wanting to play the other 4 and bombing out of them. Good awareness, it's always time to recommit, and not toss another $75 out steaming and trying to get lucky.

Tomorrow is another day. An early Sunday HORSE satellite win will fuel some enjoyable tourneys all day. Or maybe I should just play cash. Hmmmmm.....

Bubble Day

2008-10-25T05:03:00.003-05:00

It was a day for near-misses. First I finished 9th in the $5K Guaranteed HOSE tourney. I played well, could have played better down the stretch.

Then I "bubble" an FTOPS #13 satellite. These $69 + 6 tourneys almost always have less than 8 players, so it starts with 4-6 and then fills the only table allowed for late registration. So, the prize is 1st place, and 2nd gets a booby prize of $17.

I fought for an hour with this guy heads up. I started down 2:1, despite having him dead-to-rights 20 minutes ago. I had 267 in Razz vs. his last chips and J83, so I make 3 pair and well, let's just say he hit a hot streak, doubling every hand for about 5 minutes. Heads up, we go back and forth, and he's a good player, aggressive but aware enough to fold when pushed back. I played very passive/aggressive, counter-punching with bluffs when I couldn't find any actual cards. Then, I finally raise A8 in Holdem, flop A86, and I'm going to double into the chip lead.

Gah. And I get the $17 partial refund. Still waiting to hit #2 of these, and 2 other people have already done that. I don't plan on waiting to the last day to win this satellite challenge, I'm going to leave them in the dust. So, that requires winning #2.

All in all I'm very happy with my poker play. This space I'm currently in is familiar, in the sense that I'm fine tuning some details and then I start hitting big scores. This time I commit to being aware while it happens, so I don't have to just revert back to "before" poker. I know there are some key things that I can do, which lead to massive success.

Okay, let's be honest and blunt. Playing ideal poker is rarely the most fun option. And as a creative human being, I like my variety. And I am better than virtually everyone at the cash tables I play these days, as well as the smaller HORSE tourneys (up to $75). I only play less than optimally because I get bored and play crap, bored and try weird strategies that fail, bored and hit the raise button because I don't want to fold with my bricked out 456 one more time in a row.

Boredom is tilt. If you aren't jazzed about playing the cards you just got dealt, you won't play your best possible game.

Saturday $75 HORSE and FTOPS #13 satellites. Tokens or cash, whatever gets me in the door. Then it's all about focus and intensity. Make each fold, each call count.

Who Likes Instant Results?

2008-10-24T04:23:00.003-05:00

You too? Wow, small world.

A nice 5th place in the $5K Guaranteed Stud H/L tourney tonight. After spending a couple consecutive nights falling asleep writing about Stud H/L, I guess I can follow my own advice. I was tied for the chip lead for a while, but took a big beat and never quite recovered. I had AA256J with 4 hearts, and my opponent who had 87652K got frisky and we put a bunch of bets in the pot. He rivers a 4, I river a non-heart brick, and I watch him fold until he takes me out in 5th. At least to his credit he appeared to know how lucky he got (I had him CRUSHED) and was careful with his chips from then on. I'd had my share of lucky rivers, we all had by then. I felt like I knew half the guys at the final table, and that I belong at a lot more of them.

So, I will be attending more final tables. With big stacks. Stud H/L is very volatile, and a big stack is essential to long life. Gotta be able to absorb when they river that 3rd 7.

HOSE tomorrow night, hmmmm. While there isn't much to HOSE/HORSE tourneys besides the individual games, there is a bit to talk about in regards to the tournament format itself. I think. If I can remember any of it, I will be writing in a different chapter tonight. If not, I'll just write about Stud and stall during Hold'em. Oh wait, I think I have an idea...

Book Writing Adventure: Day 1

2008-10-23T04:55:00.003-05:00

Chapters written: 0.1, last night before bed.
Poker progress: nope. One of THOSE days.
Chapters to write before sleep: 0.1.

Laptop in bed, priceless.

Bedtime Blogging

2008-10-22T04:34:00.003-05:00

Well, it's come to that. I'm so busy these days:

A) Playing poker
B) Working
C) Writing code for poker tool
D) Taking screenshots and writing strategy
E) 2 or 3 of the above simultaneously

Blogging has been delegated to a last-minute-before-bed activity, for not the first time.

So, I have strategy material shooting out my ears. If I dedicated an afternoon (yeah, right) to writing, I could probably write a couple of chapters for a Stud or HORSE strategy book. Instead, I could pour my heart and soul (translation: time) into these articles over time, and publish them and give them away on my blog to my tiny audience.

I believe strongly in the power of our expectations to shape our actual outcomes. Write about playing excellent poker, and I play excellent poker and I win money. So I will write these articles, if only to improve my poker game. But, let's take it up a notch, because there remains one question. Who would buy a book from me?

I am writing my book now, because then it will be ready for publishing when I win my first HUGE tourney. WSOP HORSE is my guess, but I'm flexible. Australia, Europe....some HUGE tourney.

Anyways, it answers the question of what to do with the chapters of material floating around in my head. Write my book now, so I will have it published while on an extended vacation with my poker winnings. Because I can really use the time off.

FTOPS X

2008-10-19T14:06:00.003-05:00

Another FTOPS? Is it Tuesday already?

Seriously, I just happened to stumble across a FTOPS #13 HORSE satellite, and just happened to have a $75 token handy. Played good cards, chipped up the entire time. Joining us now at the final table...

Final table it pays 2, 3 left. 3rd gets a measly $34 semi-refund. 3 players, 3 different chip counts, and 3 different strategies required. Let's talk about mine today, and we can visit the others' situations another day.

What specific strategies can we use here?

1. Aggressiveness. Generally, both are looking to play tight and find some way to make it in the top 2. Neither will be looking to take US on without a monster, so play accordingly. Raise most hands, but with an eye to take UNCONTESTED POTS. If they take a stand, believe them the first couple of times.

2. Severe aggressiveness against the MEDIUM stack. He has 6K, and is really HOPING I take out the 4K stack. Or he catches a monster. Or gets lucky. Or ANYTHING that has nothing to do with taking on the big stack. So use this.

One good move here is the "presteal". Let's take razz for an easy example.

4000: xxJ, brings in.
12000: We have (6Q)9. The 6000 behind us is showing a 2.

RAISE! If we get repopped, we can let it go. He will fold anything marginal. And like I said, until he takes a stand, keep it up! He has much REAL incentive NOT to take a stand, so don't make it any easier for him.

Now this takes a specific scenario, and as an example I had this happen exactly once at this final table. But keep an eye out for these.

As Gus Hansen (among others) says, winning unwanted/unclaimed/undeserved pots is always a good way to have a good tournament.

3. The ultimate debate rages on, about "showing"/"not showing". "Not showing" still has a commanding lead. Basically, never show UNLESS you have a really good reason.

I suggest showing a monster or two in this position, especially when raising high card in Stud. For instance, I raised A9A in Stud Hi, and even though he called me to 5th before folding, I showed my unimproved AA.

It's more psychology than anything else. They should (correctly) assume you are always stealing. Therefore, if you can get them to hesitate, to wonder if you ACTUALLY have it this time, I like to show them that I ACTUALLY DO a couple of times.

WARNING:

Do not fall into the trap of showing ALL your good ones, and mucking the rest. That is WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Only do this if you can show AA one hand, and muck your quads the next.

In a regular, cash tournament, this is marginal at best. But in satellite situations, where you get to a point where almost everyone gets a seat, sending a "Don't fawk with Chippy!" message can get them to concede one seat to you already. Which is the ENTIRE PRIZE. Don't forget that, and try to "win" in chips.

4. Tightness. I know, this seems totally counterintuitive, considering the aggression I recommend. Bear with me.

Neither of the other wants to take a stand. So, if they do, believe them once. Heck, believe them twice. It will be obvious when they choose to draw a line in the sand. And why would they?

The most important thing right now is that we have 12K, and they have 6K and 4K. They need to catch up, they need to get lucky, or win some hands. We "need" to do nothing but NOT LOSE OUR CHIP LEAD.

Avoid reraising big draws. Avoid chasing draws, even big ones, if currently beat.

There are MANY unwanted pots. Take those. And push with strength, you gotta take them out somehow. Usually one big rumble with the chip leader will whip them right back into shape, reminding them that they can get the same prize even if I have 15K and they have 2K by the end.

*******

Well, as for FTOPS, I checked the satellite challenge board, and with 23 days left, there are only 13 unique winners. Emptyman is tied for 1st with "1 win".

Including, unexpectedly but certainly no surprise, Hoy.

Time to build a stack of the $75 tokens. And clear my schedule for the 2 last-minute, $50 and $100 monster satellites the day before.

Oh, and qualify for Sunday HORSE. :)

80/20

2008-10-16T20:56:00.004-05:00

It's pretty much the best you can hope for in No-Limit/Pot-Limit Hold'em. All in as a 4:1 favorite.

That pesky 20% is why some people mistake poker for gambling. Like a few certain a**hole congressmen.

If you rile against this result, ask yourself why. It's one possible outcome of an ideal situation in Hold'em. Just happened to go to the 5th out of 5 dentists today.

(image courtesy of Cardplayer.com's cool odds calculator)

With Apologies To Loyal Readers...

2008-10-15T03:14:00.002-05:00

Hey! It's theoretically possible I have loyal readers...so just in case, just putting up a non-post to substitute for an actual post. Yes, I'm a sloth.

What's so important that supercedes blogging? Work, sure. And also this hand history tool. It's really coming along nicely, and I don't think it's overstating it to say that I hope to revolutionize poker blogging. To make it that cool and more importantly, THAT EASY to write interesting posts and share interesting hands.

Look also for me this week at BuddyDank Radio, I should be around for the Mookie and the Dookie and the radio show. Also, appearing soon, a strategy article for you Stud H/L and HORSE players out there. Kicking around some slightly more advanced Stud game concepts, +EV style.

Little poker to speak of. Mostly grinding to restore a shell-shocked bankroll. If I pop a tourney you'll be the first to know, my loyal reader.

My Own Personal Poooooooshfest

2008-10-09T23:11:00.008-05:00

It started as a $26 Token Frenzy.

Then I called KK with my AQ, and when the board came 2345, I doubled to 10K. Stupid call really, but now I only had one guy to pass.

So I started putting the blinds all in. EVERY HAND. Now to be fair, I played for elimination. I only ever raised someone EXACTLY all in, then I checked down every street. And won most of those too. But at least the table didn't revolt. They folded every hand to the end. Or at least that should be the end of the story...

With less than 60 people left, the guy on my left, with 10K IN CHIPS!, takes a stand on principle. 50-some left. 41 tokens. He could unplug his computer.

On about my 5th raise, I raise to 1100, he finally gets courage to reraise to 2400. I instantly reshove, of course. I have Q9s, but I could have 4-high. I have him covered and 10K back, since I've stolen every ante and blind for 5 minutes. He thinks and folds.

Then, when I do the same thing next hand, EVEN STILL WITH 7000 CHIPS he takes a stand. WITH A MONSTER.

Awesome.

And the end result...

Week In Review: An Honest Assessment

2008-10-07T16:16:00.008-05:00

I expected more updates as the week went along. I also expected to perform better, and have something to brag about. Instead, let's use lots of pretty pictures to talk about this past week. As HONESTLY and objectively as possible. In that spirit, I invite anyone with differing opinions to please submit them as comments. If you have to call me an idiot to do so, please do.

In short, it's hard to get motivated to talk about playing good poker, when I have no results to back it up. Who am I to talk strategy? No really bad beats either, so what happened?

Let's start with the $5K Guaranteed, Omaha H/L limit double-stack tourney from last night.

I won 2 pots early, then didn't get ANY cards to look at for 90 minutes. A few failed speculative forays, and I find myself with just a few bets left. Finally I pick up a hand, with position, and it's time to go. I raise to 1000 in the CO, with just 1500 back.

Horrible flop, turn gives me flush outs. Action was 3-way, and being raised every street, so I figure I'm toast. Yet the player to my right folds the river and I win half with my KK!

Yes, it was this kind of night. Wacky. Fold the nuts, fold the nuts, then play A2K6 and get scooped. Not here obviously, but you get the idea.

Okay, after finally getting some good cards, and having them hold, I'm sitting with a comfortable stack. Here I hit the dream on the river, and I scoop. But lets go back to preflop.

Should I limp with this crap? EVEN on the button? My retroactive answer is NO. Were there limpers, what were my pot odds, you ask? Well, either way, I still say no. Heads up this is weak at best, and against 4 limpers, also weak. How many nut hands can I make? Is there any flop I like besides A2?

On the flop, I have only an idiot straight draw, and 3rd pair. Questionable call here, but with the pot odds, I'm stuck for now.

Well, I hit the jackpot here (he had AA2) so as long as I stay away from these in the future...

Fast foward, a few levels, and I'm back to just a few bets. I find a good hand, raise it preflop, and get 2 fish callers. I bet the flop and turn, and have just enough for the river. Now, as the turn hits, I realize I may get skunked on the river too. I make up my mind to fire on the river no matter what, and they both fold. I figure about 50% chance my A4 was actually good, I scoop and here we go again!

A bit unfortunate here, and fortunate to get away for 1 bet/street. I checked the flop, then bet the turn and river, and was not raised.

Crap hand #2. A weak limp with A356 rainbow! Barely playable, and look what trouble it gets me into. I'm drawing dead to 3 2's, 3 4's, and 2 6's. And any of those outs only gets me half, maybe. This is bad play, followed by bad calls to the river.

It's worth stopping right here to discuss. I played disciplined poker for the first part of the tourney, yet after a few brushes with the rail and a few good hands to follow, I'm speeding out of control. It's subtle, but of ULTIMATE importance in tourneys. Maintain composure and focus at all times. Regain it after a BIG hand. I basically pulled off the highway, and continued driving 65mph through town. Doesn't take long to get busted doing that, on most days.

Too late for me now anyways. 16 people left, my 13K is now 5K, and I'm in the Dank position (last place for you n00bs). I make my final stand with the 1200 big blind rapidly approaching. No luck and I'm out in 14th. 13th
goes out next hand. Pays top 12. Could I have folded to the cash? Maybe, but $140 for $75 is not what I entered this tourney for. Top 3 paid $2000, $1500, $1000, so that was always the goal.

***********

The Rest of the Week

Some was straight-up bad luck:

Love the peel on 4th. I had a 9.

Some were bad choices on my part:

Should have folded on the flop.

Here I continue betting, even though he knows exactly where he stands with his 23 down. I brick the river, he hits an A. Just because he defends a crap hand, doesn't mean I should always bet out.

A VERY marginal call.

I reap what I sow, (correctly) folding this big pot on the river.

Sometimes I made good plays, laying down the second-best hand.

500 more to see the next 2. Fold.

***********

So let's revisit the bad hands. They all have something in common, and to put it simply, I'm playing cash-style in a tourney. I'm betting, calling, and raising with AT BEST a slim edge. In cash, this is acceptable play, but in a tourney, especially these donkey tourneys, it's MUCH MUCH BETTER to wait for bigger edges. They will happen, be patient. I'm talking to you, emptyman.

***********

New Gameplan

In these tourneys, it is imperative to have cards when putting chips in the middle. That's just the nature of limit. But, that alone will not get us home, as it does in cash games. The changing blinds, and the nature of tournament players require much more than just raising AA. Bluffs will work, with varied success, based on chipstack, blinds, position, and table image. Virtually every starting table has at least 2 people that will put their chips in with ANY PERCEIVED MARGIN, real or not. Playing a 51/49 pot with them is flat-out WRONG. Furthermore, there are about 10% of players (conservatively) who will put their chips in knowing they are behind! Raise those pots, instead of coin flips.

Maintain composure. Play the same strong hands all tourney, and when getting a big stack, use it CORRECTLY. Use it to steal with high cards, and to take uncontested pots. DON'T use it to chase down marginal hands. That's how to give it back.

A few months back, I was very proud of my ability to get a big stack and hang on to it. Where did that go? This past week, I was on the first page of the leaderboard once a night, yet didn't turn it into anything...

My big run came after reading Tommy Angelo's book, Elements of Poker. The biggest thing I took away from that was playing my BEST poker, as OFTEN as possible. ALL THE TIME. Last week, I did not do that.

It's a new week.

Experiment, Day 1

2008-09-29T22:54:00.003-05:00

Missed the 4K, because I was deep in the 20:45 Omaha H/L Limit tourney. It applies, so let's see how it went.

Generally, the play was marginal. My cards were marginal, but I was very conscious to stay out of trouble and pick my spots carefully.

1/2 to 1/4 on the river.

Scoop to 1/2 on the river.

3/4 to 1/4 on the river.

Same hand, better high draw, better flush draw. His flush draw is crippled because he has 3 clubs, and AK here is vastly superior to A862. So, of course I get scooped and IGH. Flush anyways, nice touch.

All it takes is being on the right side of these confrontations 1/2 to 2/3 of a time, and it's final table. Instead, 21st out of 88, pays top 9.

A New Outlook, Despite An Eerily Similar Situation

2008-09-29T18:08:00.002-05:00

Played 2 $26 Sunday HORSE satellites, partially for bankroll reasons, partially as a barometer about my play. I won 2 seats, so I played.

I played well. I made some great folds, some great aggressive plays. I had 15K chips (5x starting) with 60 people left.

Then I got my chips in the middle twice with the best hand. Twice I got outdrawn.

First hand, I start A47 and reraise a probable steal. On 6th, I'm betting my TT742A into a KAA876 and I river Q, he rivers 5. Half my stack gone.

I take 45 seconds, even though I'm the bring in. No one plays while I cool off, and then I bring in. Fold. One hand later:

Again, he limps and I raise (complete) on 3rd. On 4th he is either drawing slim or really slim, but he can't fold. I hit card after card, make a 6, and get rivered by a better 6.

This pot would have gotten me back to first page leaderboard. The previous one would have put me in the top 2.

Yet, I'm not angry at all, a marked difference from the previous days. I think I finally let go of the anger about losing when ahead. Losing a big stack. Getting donked out of a $200 buyin tourney. All of that.

Instead, I feel a bit sad, I had really hoped to go far, and I was really building a stack just to do that. And, now that I think about it, really it's joy returning, joy about next week and how even in this "big" of a tourney, I can read people easily. I can get my chips in ahead. And winning limit poker is about:

1. Get chips in ahead.
2. Once big stack built, get chips in ahead, and use stack as cudgel to take unwanted chips.
3. Repeat until best hand holds up enough times in a night for you to go deep in a tourney. It will happen soon and often.

In days of slim bankroll, I've often been a fan of the $8.70 2-table and the $26 2-table SNGs to get tokens. Well I'm upping my commitment, I commit to winning a Tier III, $216 tourney once a week, in order to guarantee playing Sunday HORSE. It is a waste for me not to play this good-structured, double-stacked, big buyin HORSE tourney. An average starting table has at least 2 true donkeys, and most starting tables last well into the second hour. My expectation is, quickly identifying fish and leaving starting table with 5000+ chips. And add in the handful of $200 pro bounties, and the fact that most pros are as bad as the field at HORSE and it all adds up to serious +EV. (Seriously, I've never heard someone say, "Most pros are really good at HORSE." I've heard the opposite many times.)

I think it will rate about 2x as hard as winning the 4K, so I expect to win it in the near future. While I wait, a 5 or 6-night experiment, concentrating on playing my 125% BEST POKER in the 4K nightly. As we go, I will share the decisive hands, and do my best to evaluate solely on poker correctness. I will also endeavour to show the hands that don't knock me out of the tournament, the ones that build a big stack too. Then we'll see how good I truly run.

I Run Goot, Again

2008-09-27T23:16:00.002-05:00